Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Orifice horror

Adult jack in a box-type thing
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April fool’s day being nearly upon us, it’s time to pull out a stop or two.. The nation expects.. Here’s a jokey thing for those of us who have at least 2 spouses/ partners and who are prepared to lose one (or both.)

A slim line compressed gas cylinder fits neatly into the relevant orifice and is triggered by remote control held discreetly in the practical joker’s hand.

He or she contrives to have his trousers and pants pulled off by the second-best spouse, according to the normal rationale/routine. (If this happens only once a year, contrive to have it be April 1 before midday. )

If the joker be a she, triggering the remote makes the compressed gas instantly extrude a surprisingly large latex baby’s head from the pubic area. A whistle installed in the mouth makes a credible wailing sound. If he be a he, out come a nice thick bundle of latex Ascaris worms, designed to twist and entwine in a lively way under the air pressure. Voila.. Job done until next year

DDRopDeadly, Mar 28 2018

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       The most horrific thing about this is the bit about having two spouses...
RayfordSteele, Mar 28 2018
  

       Two spouses can be arranged [RS] but the gas cylinder’s going to have to be much bigger I’m afraid
DDRopDeadly, Mar 28 2018
  

       Even though I know every idea on [hb] is connected to the one before, did saw-tooth spaghetti really have to take me to ascaris worms? probably ..
DDRopDeadly, Mar 28 2018
  

       Which would suggest ..this very idea has a trace of the first idea ever posted in [hb] in it.. And if so, is it embodied in the whole idea - or just a part? which part? Is it “his trousers and pants pulled off” ? Does entropy come into play?
DDRopDeadly, Mar 28 2018
  

       No I guess it was just spaghetti > worms. The rest was me
DDRopDeadly, Mar 28 2018
  

       //Even though I know every idea on [hb] is connected to the one before//   

       Ah, I see where you've gone awry. Please allow me to show you the error of your ways.   

       Or don't. I'm gonna do it anyway.   

       Halfbakery is all about originality and discussion of said originality be it brilliant or banal.
What you have taken for a rule-of-thumb is merely echoes paying heed to the ever dwindling sparks of actual novelty left for a crowd, which collectively is straining against the boundaries of all that which is not yet known, to chew for its grist.
  

       Go Team!   

       See?...
Now write on the board fifty times; I Will Not Anno My Own Idea Four Times In A Row Without A Really Good Reason
  

       ...and that should take us to lunch.
Anybody want to trade a yoghurt for a granola bar?
  

       Ok, thanks for pointing that out [2 fries] .. << red face, bowed head>>
DDRopDeadly, Mar 29 2018
  

       I will not anno my own idea four times in a row
DDRopDeadly, Mar 29 2018
  

       I will not anno my own idea four times in a row
DDRopDeadly, Mar 29 2018
  

       I will not anno my own idea four times in a row
DDRopDeadly, Mar 29 2018
  

       Etc
DDRopDeadly, Mar 29 2018
  

       Simplify this idea by dropping the realistic plastic baby in the toilet with some ketchup and beetroot shavings, and a graunched-looking purple rubber tube. Act either nonchalant or pained, depending on your gender. If male, blithely comment how simple home births are these days. If female, clutch your abdomen and look miserable, while saying everything is 'fine'. Ply both spouses with myriad cups of coffee until desired result is achieved.
Edie, Mar 29 2018
  
      
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