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Paint Riot Control Crow's Wings With "POLICE"

The attack crows idea is from American visionary Adam Carolla. My idea is to paint a logo on their wings.
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Paint police crows wings with "POLICE" the same as cops have on their bullet proof vests.

The great visionary and innovator Adam Carolla had suggested that "attack crows" be trained for law enforcement and area security patrol. Crows can recognize human faces as they learned in an experiment where people with masks would harass the test animals. Afterwords, the harasser's masks would be recognized by the crows and the next time they came out, they got attacked.

Teach them to attack anybody the police are moving in on or any a-hole wearing one of those Guy Fawkes masks. They'd swoop down and give these Jacobin jerk-offs a taste of sharp claws and slashing beaks at the same moment that the riot squad waded into the mob. Simultaneous attack from the ground and air is very effective.

Remember, a group of crows is called a "murder". Got to be a reason for that.

doctorremulac3, Aug 12 2011


       I though a 'murder' was a flock of ravens. Isn't a flock of crows a 'coven' or a 'covey'?
Alterother, Aug 12 2011

       I could be wrong. Hang on, I'll check... Yep, you're right. Sorry, should've looked it up before I posted. Haven't had breakfast yet, brain slow.
Alterother, Aug 12 2011

       Who gets to decide these things, anyway?
RayfordSteele, Aug 12 2011

       Decide what things?
doctorremulac3, Aug 12 2011

       According to Wiki, crows in some regions of the world (including England) have long had bad reputations because they will descend upon a wounded or sick animal or an exposed newborn animal and begin feeding upon it before it dies (undoubtedly hastening the process). I would surmise that the term 'murder of crows' would originate from people's feelings over that behavior.
Alterother, Aug 12 2011

       Police is one word, and crows have two wings. "Police Crow" seems too obvious unless it were not actually a crow and you wanted to fool people. You could put POL on one wing and ICE on the other I suppose but people might not understand POL. No, it is too complicated. Bone.
bungston, Aug 12 2011

       The trouble is, as they folded their wings to dive in for the attack, they'd just say "PIE".
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 12 2011

       Which, in certain borg-infested regions of the UK, is undoubtedly what they'd end up in.
Alterother, Aug 12 2011

       I was thinking you'd just stencil "POLICE", the whole word, on each wing using some kind of feather bleach. One on the outside, one on the underside.   

       You could also put a star on or something, but frankly, any emblem would be intimidating.   

       Little helmets with lasers (just for effect) would be pretty spooky. Although maybe the lead bird would learn to laser point the target and the rest would attack. They're pretty clever birds. Who knows how much you could train them for this?
doctorremulac3, Aug 12 2011

       Well there goes post apocalyptic fortress defence tactic number seventeen....   

       I hope you're happy   

       // Afterwords, the harasser's masks would be recognized by the crows and the next time they came out, they got attacked. //   

       The more interesting thing is that the crows' CHILDREN, who had never seen these harassers, were able to recognize them too! This implies that crows have language for describing animals' appearances in sufficient detail to enable recognition. If we can learn this language, even if it isn't suitable for humans to use, we could translate appearances into it so as to describe known unwelcome persons to the crows, without having to show the crows pictures of these people, so that updates can be given by radio (in the helmets) to crows in the field.   

       I have a somewhat related idea (which is much older) to what I just described (which is new after reading this idea), waiting to be posted someday.
notexactly, Aug 11 2019

       A more humane version would be, following in the Soviet approach, dogs could be trained to sneak up on the [whichever side of the riot you think are the most obnoxious] and pee in their footwear.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 11 2019


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