h a l f b a k e r y
Alas, poor spelling!
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There is a hierarchy in most households,
but much friction and chaos can result in
a lack of clearly visible boundaries and
ground rules. All of this ends with the
arrival of the Pecking Order Sofa.
The sofa has three layers, with the most
luxurious and comfortable being on top,
exclusively by the alpha
male or female of the household. The
layers below are less desirable in
descending order until ground level is
reached where the runts and crawlers
reside, who must serve the needs of
Scraps and tit-bits may percolate
downwards from above, as favours make
their way up, but nasty business is
delivered in a downwards direction.
All manner of diverse detritus is gravity
fed to those below. This includes insults,
orders, empty plates of food, crisp and
biscuit wrappers, beer bottles, smelly
socks, and other nefarious personal
jetsam such as
dandruff and nose pickings.
Each sofa comes packed in straw and is
complemented by a ten minute
video of a busy hen house in action to
someone built my sofa for me, but with only two levels ! [xenzag, Oct 18 2007]
||The top sofa needs to have a universal remote built into the armrest, giving the Alpha person complete control.
||..exactly, dropping the remote might result in unwanted station/pretzel negotiations.
||I fear this will be top heavy and needs some serious attention to its stabilisation.
||Am I correct in assuming that you are the alpha in your family? Or is this attempting to point out the point of view of the less than alphas?
||//Am I correct in assuming that you are
the alpha in your family//
||I am beta than that! (groans aloud) I try
to hover just below the ceiling, at the
elastic limit of my movement limiting
harness. I make maps out of the
breadcrumbs on the floor, using a long
pointed stick, for the birds to follow.
||During the summer, the 'alpha' will have the most miserable seat of all.
||so there's my cats reclining on the top...