Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Pentatonic Vocal change laser for pets and birds

Tissue editing robot surgery deep throat probe edits vocal cord tissues causing pets like dogs to only bark at pentatonic (wind chime) scale which always sounds good. Noise complaints about harsh sounds can be solved with a simple laser veterinary surgery; flying surgical robot drones could sweeten the voices of crows in the wild as well
  (+3, -1)
(+3, -1)
  [vote for,

I think it is possible to do laser tissue surgery, comparable but deeper than laser eye surgery to animals with harsh voices (the neighbor's dog) to cause them to always make vocalizations that are sweet for humans to hear, like wind chime tones.

With technological advancement, flying drones could treat stray animals and even intercept crows to edit their voices to make sweet beautiful birdsong, causing corvids to be better accepted wherever, like cities, that they are.

I am actually serious. I think this is technologically doable, and a solution to unwanted pet noise. If you doubt the laser surgery, remember that cofocal lasers can focus at depth in tissue, changing tissue beneath the surface without breaking the surface. Similarly high energy ultrasound can also do tissue editing (noting lithotripsy on humans)

beanangel, Apr 19 2021

But with or without the original bassist? https://www.youtube...watch?v=gdVjVtpr55M
"Hello doggies my old friends..." [RayfordSteele, Apr 20 2021]


       Sound spectra timbres are culturally contingent.
pocmloc, Apr 19 2021

       [a1], bite your tongue. How the hell do you think Lassie is going to let little Timmy know that someone has fallen off the cliff in the backyard? You dog silencing beast you. hahahaha
blissmiss, Apr 19 2021

       This is fascinating and repulsive in equal measure, which makes it classic HB material [+]. Australian crows and ravens don't need it, because their voices are less harsh already. They don't do all that angsty gothic "Nevermore!" stuff. They just say "Ahhhh, yeah", and then flap away to steal the rubber strips from your windscreen wipers.
pertinax, Apr 19 2021

       //Australian crows and ravens don't need it, because their voices are less harsh already//   

       Really? I always thought they sound like they need a throat lozenge.
AusCan531, Apr 20 2021

       They're just conning you into handing out throat lozenges. They're clever buggers.
pertinax, Apr 20 2021

       "Okay everyone. Now when your dog sees the kitty, I want all of them to bark a long, sustained note. We'll build a sustained G7 chord."   

       "Roooofff.... roooff... roooff... rOooof..."   

       "Hold up hold up. Marmaduke you're off-pitch. Let's try it again."   

       "Roooofff.... roooff... roooff... rOoooOf..."   

       "No no no...   

       Ma'am I'm afraid your dog has tuned by a tone-deaf vet. That's more d-minus than b flat. I'm sorry but he simply cannot join my pooch barbershop quartet."
RayfordSteele, Apr 20 2021

       I had heard an NPR thing earlier this year about singers that were losing their voices and researching reconstructive vocal surgery.   

       In most cases it was a bad idea. Too delicate, only 1 or 2 specialists that would even venture it, and a high failure rate.   

       You could always just autotune them...
RayfordSteele, Apr 20 2021


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