Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Perfect Ass Hand

Exercise hands to form perfect ass shape when wearing gloves.
  (+5, -7)
(+5, -7)
  [vote for,

Looking at the fingers of the hand, and the upper palm, they appear miniature legs, and the knucles and upper palm appear to be buttocks. However, when looking at knuckles as buttocks, the legs are on backwords. Therfore, by exercising the palm and the fingers they can be modelled to form the shape of beauty when tight fitting gloves are worn.

Perfect Ass Hand will become a significant part of everyday conception of beauty. Job interviews will be sealed before the handshake when perfect ass hand is presented. Card games will also be won before the chips are down as the other players envy your hand. And finally when it's time to admire perfect ass the most use Perfect Ass Hand.

rcarty, Jan 23 2014

(?) Muscles in the palm and fingers http://www.cea1.com...f-the-human-body-2/
And that's only the skeletal muscles; there is also plenty of smooth muscle associated with hair follicles, blood vessels, etc. [spidermother, Jan 24 2014]


       That idea is like throwing a boomerang and forgetting about it.
lurch, Jan 23 2014

       //by exercising the palm and the fingers they can be modelled//   

       And yet, in the sense of 'actually', they cannot. There are no muscles in the palm or the fingers, and therefore they cannot be significantly altered by exercise. You'd just wind up with a musclier forearm.   

       Sadly, therefore, [-].   

       And you should either start or stop taking the tablets.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 23 2014

       It's meant to be a very light hearted proposal appellant to basic humorous drives. It's possible to imagine therefore I decided to describe it. The user views, rather hallucinates his hands as legs and buttocks, noticing some similarity. The similarity becomes the starting point for the goal of sameness, as the user considers perfecting this new fashion, noting the value of aesthetic perfection.
rcarty, Jan 24 2014

       Whelp, back to navel-gazing then.
AusCan531, Jan 24 2014

       Why not just show them your arse instead?
pocmloc, Jan 24 2014

       //There are no muscles in the palm or the fingers//   

       You really must stop believing everything you hear on Q.I. (link).
spidermother, Jan 24 2014

       Wrong category if this is about your hands, not gloves. I keep staring at my hand and still cannot see an ass. It looks more like a topographical map.
xandram, Jan 24 2014

       I strongly recommend getting out more.
RayfordSteele, Jan 24 2014

       I can recall at least a dozen muscles in the palm of the hand, including lumbricals, interossei and the palmarii, four or five muscles in the thenar eminence and three or four in the hypothenar eminence, [Max]. You are almost right when you say there are none in the fingers. There are no discrete muscles distal to the first interphalangeal joints.
UnaBubba, Jan 24 2014

       People undergo transformative cosmetic surgeries all the time. The only reason people don't have ass hand implants (or bumfinger implants, for that matter - rummage down the back of the couch while sitting down!) right now is that no fashion for it has been inculcated. I'm all for this.
calum, Jan 24 2014

       Mum: [rcarty], what are you up to?
[rcarty]: Nothing!
Mum: You've been having sex with the butt of your palm again, haven't you?
UnaBubba, Jan 24 2014

       It's no secret. In fact wankers form a powerful worldwide political lobby for the rights of women, anticensorship, and privacy that makes up one of the most significant contemporary political action collectives. It's decentralized, diffuse, anonymous but high solidarity organization intuitively acts in unison regarding numerous issues, all based on the common affinity for having a wank. Women have never been so liberated, information never so free, and it's having global scale repercussions as other cultures not as thoroughly accepting of autoeroticism struggle with their womens liberation blame the West when little, in fact the least of all possible actions, wanking, has been the cause.
rcarty, Jan 24 2014


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