Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Perpetual Motion Investor's Club

Alternatively, Insurance Against Perpetual Motion
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Invest in the “future”, today! You can contribute any amount of money you choose to this fund*, and it will pay a guaranteed return of at least 100,000% upon the discovery of any working perpetual motion machine or over-unity device. A thousand bucks will make you a millionaire!

Our investment team is on the forefront of perpetual motion research**, and guarantees that it will be the first to acquire the rights to any such device within seconds of its verified existence. Your money will go towards the production and marketing of this device, which shall immediately pay unprecedented dividends while solving the world's energy problems forever!

So if you really think unlimited free energy is doable, but you don't have the time and energy to build one yourself (or maybe you just lack a shaggy white beard, hick accent, and garage to tinker in), why not put your money where your mouth is?*** You'll be laughing all the way to the bank!****

* Initial investments are non-refundable.

** And by “the forefront of perpetual motion research”, we mean “a beach in Tahiti”.

*** Presuming that your mouth is, inexplicably, in our pockets.

**** Investor may or may not actually laugh for all or part of the way to any specific bank. See disclosure form for full details.

ytk, Jun 13 2013


       Boy are you going to look silly once I eliminate the remaining 23% of inefficiencies in my hydromagnetic dooblefitzer.
BunsenHoneydew, Jun 13 2013

       //*** Presuming that your mouth is, inexplicably, in our pockets.   

       There are stranger things etc, unless you mean that in Dr Lecter stylee.
not_morrison_rm, Jun 13 2013

       //I think this may be a scam//   

       It is 100% legitimate. I assure you that you will begin receiving returns on your investment within half an hour of the discovery of a working perpetual motion machine. This arrangement is backed up by an ironclad contract.   

       //Alternatively, you could invest in my beer fund//   

       Ah, yes, you may be interested in our “Increased Liquidity” line of investment products.
ytk, Jun 13 2013

       Hmm, that gives me an idea....
not_morrison_rm, Jun 13 2013

       This is basically how the biotech industry operates on a daily basis.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 13 2013

       This is basically how university spin-outs work, too.
calum, Jun 13 2013

       Protip: don't sell your soul to Maxwell's demon.
sninctown, Jun 14 2013

       It's not that we are actively pursuing the invention of any such device. We're just keeping our finger on the pulse of the current state of perpetual motion development, ready to swoop in and immediately acquire the rights to any such device as soon as it's demonstrated to work.
ytk, Jun 14 2013

       The investment fund will nevertheless pay out any returns guaranteed to investors at that point.   

       And to head off your next question: At that point, we figure that everyone will be far too busy enjoying a post-scarcity economy to be bothered with such mundane concerns as money (though we're not exactly going to put that in the advertising brochure).
ytk, Jun 14 2013

       This must be a scam, simply because such devices have already been discovered and proven to work. Just because the authorities and the so-called scientific establishment are supressing the information, and persecuting the inventors, does not mean that the devices themselves do not work perfectly.
pocmloc, Jun 14 2013

       Yeah [pocmloc]. It is always a good idea to show some sceptism when discussing these matters. My P/M machine has been suppressed by the Establishment for years but I have persevered. It is now ready to go but I need your help to acquire the final kilogram of gold it requires to function.   

       The good thing about it is that once it is running I intend to use the large amounts of free energy it produces to drive my alchemy device. Then you can get your gold back and more.   

       This idea reminds me a bit of The Amazing Randi's "Million Dollar Challenge" for the demonstration of paranormal powers under scientific conditions. We can win that too once I transmute enough gold to open my portal to the spirit world.
AusCan531, Jun 14 2013

       Is "perpetual motion" not synonymous with "non- stop crap"?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 14 2013


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