Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Pet antagoniser

Automatically wake the dog that keeps you awake
  [vote for,

Ever been kept awake by a Jack Russell terrier that for whatever reason cannot seem to relax enough to sleep through the night? Manic, obsessive scratching of its blanket too loud to allow normal sleep for you? Better yet, the constant on-the-bed-off-the-bed gymnastics and occasional "jing-jing-jing" while it "resets" its fur by shaking its entire body, and the bed along with it. Is all this too much to let you get the sound sleep you require to attentively drive to work and hold focus throughout your busy workday?

Well, while you're at work, and cute poochy is actually sleeping, charging up her batteries for yet another night of mattress pogo, a series of automatic stimuli keeps the minion from her sleep. Blunted pokers on an alarm timer know it is daytime, and whenever Bitsy tries to sleep in her nest, she's antagonised with automated pokers. Or a catapult. A motion sensing robot also chases the dog through the house, keeping her moving, tiring her out throughout the day. Even attempts to sleep beneath the bed could be thwarted with a fine mist of water and hot sauce to keep poochy awake.

Then, as as added bonus, Fluffy is SO much happier to see you, knowing full well calm will prevail when you are home. Being exhausted from a day avoiding danger and being vaulted onto the wall whenever she lays down.

Ah, sweet sleep to-nite!

hillbilly, Dec 22 2003


       Your methods are cruel on the dog. I would rather see some rats that keep it busy. If it gets tired the rats could nip its tail a little. If it doesn't respond to that its real tired and should be left alone.   

       To avoid cruelty to rats and avoid a bloody mess on the carpet the rats should wear chew proof armor.
kbecker, Dec 22 2003

       Surely it is the pet's owners who are at fault, not the pet? I doubt anyone would object to keeping them awake.
DrCurry, Dec 22 2003

       Dr Curry, "Surely it is the pet's owners who are at fault". Hmm, short of excommunicating the pet from the bedroom, how can this be the fault of the owner?   

       But you may be right. Maybe less extreme measures could be taken. I should invest in a bottle of Benadryl. I'll let you know what I can do.
hillbilly, Dec 22 2003

       How about training the dog not to get on the bed? A little bit of discipline perhaps? The first paragraph leands strongly to a rant post, but upon further reading, I see that this is a rant with a poor solution. If its about just getting your dog back for keeping you up don't you owe it to your pet to wake them yourself? Revenge is a dish best served ... by you.
Letsbuildafort, Dec 22 2003

       I'm surprised you can get to sleep given that your conscience should be nagging at you for leaving your poor dog alone in a boring environment all day long. Shame on you. Instead of blaming the dog and thinking of ways to annoy it, get your dog a playmate and put some stimulating and interesting things into the dog's environment - e.g. rubber toys with bits of meat stuffed inside etc (this stuff is not hard to find). Then your dog will be happy and tired and you can both sleep well.
dobtabulous, Dec 23 2003

       Oh, Susen...
thumbwax, Dec 23 2003

       Actually, referring back to Sherlock Holmes, I thought the key clue was that the dog *didn't* bark in the night. This wouldn't work if you're dog was always exhausted.
DrCurry, Dec 23 2003


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