Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Photo Forestalling Subdermal Face Manipulator

Surgical technique provides method for spoiling amateur photographer’s pictures.
  (+10, -4)
(+10, -4)
  [vote for,

Small pneumatic devices are anchored to key facial bones and used to 'jack' up the skin at these points at a rate of up to 1000Hz (and it probably does) thus, when an exposure of the face is taken, it looks all blurry and out of focus, and as such, is likely to be discarded by the amateur photographer who took it.

Can be powered by a portable car battery that can be conveniently pushed around on a small trolley.

zen_tom, Jan 24 2008

A blurry face http://images.jupit.../51/55/22965551.jpg
[phoenix, Jan 24 2008]

Another blurry face http://www.bwilms.c...st_20011126_dan.jpg
[phoenix, Jan 24 2008]

And now this: http://kybele.psych...-son-of-man1964.jpg
[Amos Kito, Jan 24 2008]

this must already be baked! http://www.guessthe.../avrillavigne04.jpg
[xandram, Jan 24 2008]

Unit malfunction http://www.academyl...ohnnyScreenShot.jpg
[calum, Jan 24 2008]

Can it make Martin Short look like Robert Picardo with a bad haircut? http://posters.imdb...omments?filter=love
A classic... [RayfordSteele, Jan 24 2008]

Two weeks! http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=V17duGlHEYY
Another classic... [Jinbish, Jan 24 2008]


       Nice. The deluxe model sprays a small cloud of mist around your face too and the super-deluxe model pops out a little LCD display with some random copyrighted material on (to prevent the photo being published).
hippo, Jan 24 2008

       Bright red LEDs implanted into your eyeballs might be useful too. [+]
theleopard, Jan 24 2008

phoenix, Jan 24 2008

       This would be good for those that like to run around the streets with a licence plate strapped to their forehead, thus confusing speed and traffic cameras.Although, tattooing it to the forehead might work a bit better.
skinflaps, Jan 24 2008

       "Irritated by their bad luck in getting a good photo of the noted socialite 'Zen' Tom, a lucky papparazi last night struck lucky when trying out a recently-purchased ultra-slow-motion video camera. Let's have a look at the clip..."
hippo, Jan 24 2008

       'paparazzo' (singular), Shirley?
pertinax, Jan 24 2008

       This would be in addition to the "eyes closed, mouth open" reflex response already installed in most of my relatives?
DrCurry, Jan 24 2008

       ...and shouldn't there be something about saying "Cheese"?
xandram, Jan 24 2008

       Forget about pneumatics, especially at 1000 hz. The g's would be much too high for the device to survive or for your face to transmit the motion. Much too far above the natural frequency.   

       Perhaps some electrical impulses?
RayfordSteele, Jan 24 2008

       As long as it can be fitted to Donald Trump's head while he sleeps to shake that hair style into a fuzzy ball. Most excellent. [+]
xenzag, Jan 25 2008

       They peered at the dead man's face...trying to see what probably wasn't there at all. Doctor Gough quickly lifted his magnifyer and switched to high resolution.   

       "Hey...what the heck is this little thing...it looks like a spiracle."   

       Doctor Beatty leaned closer...gently pushing Nurse Jenning aside... Hmmmmm?...Spiracle, you say? Looks more like an elongated mole to me....with a rather stiff hair in the medial."   

       "No...not at all...." Doctor Gough retorted. "See there...look, it's moving."   

       Nurse Jenning gasped..."My God! It's not only moving...it's growing right before our eyes."   

       The medicos instinctively flinched as a tiny spit of hydraulic oil squirted at them from the slender thread...specks of it landing on Doctor Goughs magnifyer....   

       Then, to their astonishment, the corpse began smiling....there was a faint humming sound from behind the ear....it was activated now...and there was nothing they could possibly do to save themselves.   

       The last sound Doctor Beatty heard was the tiny tinkling of Dr. Gough's magnifyer as it dropped to the cold tiled floor. Nurse Jenning was already a lifeless quivering mass of jelled fruit coctail.   

       It was just the beginning.
Blisterbob, Jan 25 2008

       Please, you can't stop there, we want to know what happens after his party wins the 1997 UK General Election ......
8th of 7, Jan 25 2008


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