Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Pierced Teeth

We love to see you smile.
  (+5, -6)
(+5, -6)
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Remember Obnoxious Ken? (See Koi Shoulder Perch).

Well, he had his tongue pierced and a huge stud inserted. Gross. You should hear him talk! The only thing I understand is "Wa-wa" (water). I give him a glass, but I leave before he drinks it because I'm afraid he'll swallow his tongue. Yesterday he stuck his tongue out at me and I had to help him get it back in his mouth. Ugh.

So, to upstage him, I decided to pierce my incisors. I just did it myself, with my 1/4 inch Black & Decker and a 1/16th inch bit. WARNING! If you do this yourself, don't press too hard. I caused a hairline crack in my left one, but it hardly shows. Of course, if you're not as handy as I am, I guess your dentist would do it. Naturally, when it catches on, every tattoo parlor will do it.

If the pain is not enough of an incentive for you to have this done, consider the world of possible dangles it opens up! At first, I was drawn to the yin and yang of a tiny silver poodle for the left and a stalking green alligator for the right, but my love for music quickly won out and I decided on a pair of miniature wind chimes. The left is a tiny flock of sea birds and the right is a pod of orcas. When I open my mouth and breath, others can hear the tiny tinkling sound, and the beauty is, the sound is different for inhaling and exhaling! Of course, to me, the sound is life-size! Also, I've learned to control my breathing to make it sound like the surf, so my popularity is at an all time high!

melanerpes, May 30 2001

(?) Prosthetically baked... http://www.nastytee.../products/index.htm
...for some bizarre reason. [angel, May 30 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

(?) ...and not recommended for doctors. http://www.medschoo...oes.html#reallywant
[angel, May 30 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]


       This is very nearly baked. After all, you have to have a hole drilled in your tooth in order to have a filling put in. It's only a small step on from that to have something more interesting put in your tooth.
Having said that though, I've got to say that I hate the dentist with an intensity that only blind fear can achieve. Have a fishbone.
DrBob, May 30 2001

       ...and more attractive to Shane McGowan.
angel, May 30 2001

       Tsk, tsk, DrBob. Afraid of dentists? I'm beginning to think you're not a real doctor. Comparing piercing teeth to filling molars is like comparing tattooing to inoculation. I bet you're afraid of shots, too, huh?   

       UnaBubba, didn't Queequeg have sharpened teeth? I think it was for beauty, not to make him unattractive to slavers. Also, I believe he was Maori, not African. Oh, wait a minute. I just remembered...he was also fiction. Just like poor old Melanerpes.
melanerpes, May 30 2001

       This is THE solution for all those stapled people who don't have any hole left in their entire body! Go pearce your teeth and try to keep that callcenter job!
BartJan, May 30 2001

       Mick Hucknell and Scouse Spice have both had massive holes drilled in the front of their front teeth and had gaudy precious jewels inserted to flaunt their wealth. I haven't heard any stories of poorer people having it done and having quartz or fool's gold put in though.
-alx, May 30 2001

       Now there's a film scene that has me cowering behind the sofa. "Make the nasty man go away please, momma."
DrBob, May 30 2001

       Melanerpes, don't you hate it when the drill bit punches unexpectedly through that last .1 mm of tooth and goes half an inch into your tongue? Boy that smarts. And the little metal orcas always seem to get caught in corn-on-the-cob, not to mention salt-water taffy. It just ain't comfortable on the screaming edge of fashion, I guess.
Dog Ed, May 30 2001

       The Incas in South America filed their teeth into points, but they also croosed their eyes purposely "for beauty." Fashion is so fleeting.
salmon, May 30 2001

       From Animaniacs:
Good Idea: Doing your own yard work.
Bad Idea: Doing your own dental work.

       [some other GIBI sketeches I like though they're not apropos: GI--Taking a deep breath before jumping into a swimming pool; BI--Taking a deep breath AFTER jumping into a swimming pool. GI--Playing catch with your grandfather; BI--Playing catch "with" your grandfather.]
supercat, May 31 2001

       Some US ghetto kids have had diamonds or other showy materials implanted in their teeth.And the US Army is mulling over tooth implants as an indestructible way of ID-ing soldiers in battle.
mcdornan1, Jun 09 2001

       how drunk were you??
kei, Jun 10 2001

       how about we stay on topic please.
samm, Oct 31 2001

       I have seen people with pierced teeth so this is not really an idea, more of a promotion. one MFD coming up...
eddidaz, Apr 12 2002

       eddidaz... I'd suggest you hang around a bit longer before you start MFDing ideas. At least check into what constitutes an MFD worthy post, since it appears you quite obviously do not know. (Read the help page.)
waugsqueke, Apr 12 2002


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