Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...

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The automatic Toilet-O Clean-O-Matic
  (+5, -3)
(+5, -3)
  [vote for,

A device integrated into the toilet - like the spindle in a dishwasher - which sits collapsed (retracted) in the bottom of the bowl.

When you're ready to sanitize the toilet, a rubber or plastic bonnet is placed over the lid and seat to form a watertight seal. Press the 'Cleaning cycle' button and water pressure forces the spindle to extend, rotate and blast water and soap around all the interior surfaces. I haven't figured out how to dry the seat, so that will have to be done manually prior to the next use. Perhaps the outside of the bonnet could have a terry cloth surface for that purpose.

{11Mar02: Changed name to protect the innocent}

phoenix, May 09 2002

Vacuum Toilet (snopes.com) http://www.snopes2..../airline/toilet.htm
Airplane toilets suck. [jester, May 12 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       hot air, big p, hot air. (to dry with I mean)
po, May 09 2002

       modified bidet?
rbl, May 09 2002

       [po] beat me to it. Once the "wash" cycle is done, dry by forcing (heated?) air through the same or separate set of nozzles in the retractable spindle. You would have to provide a means of escape, in the watertight bonnet, for the air pressure/water vapor.   

       Some significant safety interlocks would be advisable in order to avoid accidental (surprise!) operation.
half, May 09 2002

       Right. Seat and lid must be down. Maybe we need something in the bonnet as well to indicate it's on.
phoenix, May 09 2002

       Don't install this in Schroedinger's Toilet, or it will constantly be washing and not washing the seat.
globaltourniquet, May 09 2002

       hey I really love the little Miss Muffet bonnet touch. all pink and frilly with ribbons and crochet and lace and a little peaky bit. with matching spare loo roll cover.
po, May 09 2002

       I was just wondering about time scale (not lime scale) on this - I would love one, but would you have to wait 30 mins for it to heat up and clean? We have a very hecic loo system in our house - would it be instant?
arora, May 09 2002

       Quis lavat lavatorem?
(Who cleans the toilet cleaner?)
pottedstu, May 09 2002

       One problem would be anything on the outside of the bowl. Obviously the cleaning method wouldn't be able to get past the rim, and sometimes, we all fall a little short.   

       The drying could also be done through a high power vacuum sucking in air past the rim. This would then suck in any excess moisture and dry the surface at the same time.
Underdrunk, May 10 2002

       Don't forget the little Jet Dry cup.
waugsqueke, May 10 2002

       ([pheonix] surely the Irish/Scottish pronouncition is needed: pish washer?)
mcscotland, May 10 2002

       [Underdrunk], I'm not certain I'd want to place my backside on anything capable of 'high-powered suction.' If I were to hit the wrong button... Although, sometimes, some _ass_istance might be nice.
RayfordSteele, May 11 2002

       [see obligatory Snopes link]
jester, May 12 2002

       The spindle itself would get awfully messy and may prevent the 'stuff' from flushing down the drain properly.   

       Um, why not just flush the toilet??
ferret, May 12 2002

       It's not a flush replacement. It's a once-a-week (or whatever) cleaning cycle for the toilet.
phoenix, May 12 2002

       I've got it! The toilet-spider! When nobody's sitting on the toilet, a small toilet-brush brush covered mechanical critter crawls in there and washes and scrubs the toilet then gets back out after it's done!   

       I'd love to see the look on someone's face as this thing crawls out of the toilet and back into its box >:)
Crazy Bastard, Aug 12 2002


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