Pneumatic Pnotatos

This is a citywide system of pneumatic tubes, with delivery to all. Centrally, an automated kitchen slow roast bins of potatoes in a giant insulated oven.These are split, placed in wax paper, stuffed with government cheese, canola oil, and facon bits on an assembly line. They then are shoved into pneumatic tubes and distributed across the city, in the sorts of places you might find libraries, initially. Push a button, ten minutes later, schwooomp, a potatoes.

The overnight slow roasting of a baked potato cannot be denied. When they pop up and are grabbed by the fingerless gloved hands of bedless unloved people they will be appreciated as they would by anyone.

The price is free, paid for by a condiment surcharge if you want actual pig, dairy and chives. This brings the price up to hipster level, for people on the crawl between bars. Extra cost for kidney bean chili topping due to the amount of times they get stuck in the pipes.