Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Pockets for Nudists

Body Storage area for Nudists
  (+38, -18)(+38, -18)(+38, -18)
(+38, -18)
  [vote for,

As nudists do not wear clothes and carrying a bag around can be cumbersome, why not adapt the human body so that it has built in storage pockets? This could be achieved by :

Determining position for pockets on legs (near top I guess?)

Making lacerations at these positions.

Insert pocket material (non-toxic, such as polythene) and attach to outer skin.

This idea could be improved by adding 'zipper' technology to stop items falling out whilst running along.

ccaamgw, Jul 07 2000

(??) Pockets for nudists http://home.tiscali...too/RealA/sacks.jpg
[hippo, Nov 13 2005]

http://3.bp.blogspo...lder-for-nudist.jpg [hippo, Aug 19 2009]


       People who have had liposuction could make use of the space provided by having large pockets installed.
gilest, Jul 07 2000

       You have too much free time.
ME, Jul 07 2000

       If you put a pocket in the right place and tucked your naughty-bits into it, could the police arrest you for going otherwise nude?
StarChaser, Jul 23 2000

       I think they'd leave you alone unless you put your naughty-bits in a female nudists pocket.
ccaamgw, Jul 24 2000

       Your idea is FANTASTIC. The best laugh I had in weeks :)
danilom, Sep 13 2000

       Well, if it were made of that fake-vagina material, you could oblige when people told you to go f- yourself.
ZediWarrior, Sep 18 2000

       Great idea, but what if you got your "pocket" caught on something and it gets ripped off...ouch.
quinnman, Nov 13 2000

       Great idea, but I think it would be even better with Velcro rather than zippers!
Foxsong, Nov 26 2000

       I'd like to see that! Whenever you achieve it, PLEASE let us know!!
quasi, Dec 28 2000

       I agree with guinnman; pockets would be too tempting for sadistic people to grab and yank off.
seizethefish, Dec 31 2000

       A new meaning to what we limeys call a "bum bag" and what i think you call a "fanny sack"?   

       And thinking about it I've just looked at the colostomy bag aquarium idea and wondered how that would look for nudists......
moonbase, Feb 04 2001

       The problem with my pockets are that they are a depository for junk. I just keep stuff and stuff, I don't relish the idea of doing handstands to clean my pocket. I also cannot do handstands.
tierrie, Feb 19 2001

       As a somewhat furry male, lint seems to gravitate naturally to my belly button. I also find lint in my pockets. This line of mushroom induced logic tells me that pocket = belly button. Perhaps it could be enlarged at birth like a koala. Some tribes stretch thier necks or earlobes. Why not belly buttons. It could be fashionable and practical. You could grow little flowers in your pouch....or mushrooms. Imagine the lint that could be collected....perhaps belly button lint in quantity would have a value...fuel for spaceships...you could maybe buy groceries (trade you a weeks belly button lint for that grapefruit). Hairy bellys would be as valuable as the goose that laid the golden egg.....Just a thought.   

highangle, Jun 12 2001

       the idea of having a 'pocket' 'attatched' to one's person is an interesting and almost practical concept. i wouldn't mind having a hide-away pocket somewhere inconspicuous. it would come in handy to store oh say, a condom or to hide my stash when going to a concert. but i feel that promoting the notion to nudists is rediculous. by choosing to be a nudist, one has chosen to rid himself of the restrictions of clothing, posessions, and society in general. if they wanted pockets, they'd wear pants.
celizafinn, Aug 17 2001

       This idea is a little more than half baked... it's called fleshpockets.   

       I've been working on it for about 3 years. The pockets are nerve controlled elastic skin grafts.   

       I do own the domain fleshpockets.com and there is a patent pending...   

       website coming soon.
bobdow, Aug 30 2001

       Even easier - just staple the rolls of flab onto pocket like orifices. Mmmm hairy belly pocket !
CustardCurtains, Aug 31 2001

       When kangaroos are jumping, the way they do, what stops their offspring from flying out of their pouches? Are they fitted with some sort of tendon that tightens like the drawstring of my kagoule?
Mygo, Oct 01 2001

       I suppose nudists with longer than average pubic hair could knit it into some sort of sporran..   

       Come to think of it, growing facial or head hair specifically to knit into containers. Or maybe just to tie things on with?
Mygo, Oct 01 2001

       The idea has possibilities, but the bellybutton thing would be incredibly hard to do highangle. Imagine all the fun of storing your driver's license in a flesh pocket. A cop pulls you over and asks to see your license...
moonsprite, Oct 02 2001

       Do you suspect you would have pores and sweat glands on the inside of this pocket? You're going to need some pocket deodorant. The aroma wafting out of your bacteria farm pocket will probably offset the benefits of holding your ID, money, keys or condoms.
stocktrader, Jun 19 2002

       the pockets wouldnt be thathard to yank off if they were really really thick.   

       That would make smuggling alot more rampant.
Rexaldo, Dec 21 2002

       [churning] I'd make these out of some sort of nerve-less elastic polymer; that way, if someone tried to rip them off, they would just stretch out a bit without great harm to you. Of course, that won't prevent persistant persons; some defensive measures would have to be taken. [/churning]
Evil_Baron_Moustachio, Mar 11 2003

       The idea sounds unpleasant. I say fish.
PauloSargaco, Mar 22 2003

       Four words: Velcro plus Chest hair. I rest my case
Mentalelemental, Mar 27 2003

       You're an idiot, Mentalelemental. Get a life!
Mentalelemental, Mar 27 2003

       Shut up. You're a idiot, why don't you go home, get alife, and stop talking to yourself?
Mentalelemental, Mar 27 2003

igirl, Mar 27 2003

       this is getting annoying!...
ScincePerson, May 26 2003

       scince when?   

       apart from 3 genuine users, this is a magnet for nOObs. oh make that 4.
po, May 26 2003


       Baked. Foreskins.   

       Or so I've heard...
rapid transit, May 26 2003

       *couch* Seinfeld *cough*
belg4mit, May 26 2003

       From the movie Real Genius: "Would you prepared if gravity reversed itself? The only thing I can't figure out is how to keep the change in my pockets. I've got it! Nudity!"   

       So you just blew that idea out of the water. Back to the drawing board.
Piquan, May 27 2003

       hi im new here this is freaking funny flesh pockets its a great idea tell others hahahaha
tumblesone, May 28 2003

       ha ha ha
synergy~, Aug 31 2003

synergy~, Aug 31 2003

       Isn't that just like being a kangaroo?
ChaoticMing, Oct 13 2003

       Fat folds. Keep your wallet in one crevice, and your keys in another.
RayfordSteele, Oct 13 2003

       Your ideas are wonderful. beautiful. out of this world. and they make me smile. can't wait to read more.
eMacJamz, Apr 08 2004

       Want to go huff some gasoline?
elvatoedwardo, May 13 2004

       what about a slighty less hard core version of this: adhesive pockets which stick to your upper thigh. disposable and only probably suitable for light objects i.e loose change & car keys, but what else you gonna be carrying round?
etherman, May 13 2004

       Or you could graft a hook onto your body to hold your keychain. Why not add a cellphone pocket lower down your leg? This idea would be great for people who paint tuxedos or swimsuits on thier bodies.
Kenry52, Nov 28 2004

       And ouch, I though laying on my keys hurt when the keys were OUTSIDE my skin.
Kenry52, Nov 28 2004

       Imagine a whole town that has gone nudist. Women won't need this idea, because they already have purses -- which are considered "accessories", not clothing. Men will probably latch onto something equivalent: tote-bags, attache cases, etc.
Vernon, Nov 29 2004

       A pocket like that would even be good for just going to the pool, a sauna, or a massage parlor. There are so many instances in public or a semi-public atmosphere where you aren't wearing your street clothes, however you always need access to your keys, money, and or ID.   

       Whenever I go to the beach to swim up and down the shorline, it concerns me that I can swim too far away from my car keys only so someone can take them, jump in my car and take off.
Jscotty, Nov 13 2005

       After I got over the Urghh effect of some of the annos, I really like the idea of etherman's - adhesive pockets. Ideally like the plastic pockets that delivery notes are attached to parcels with. Or alternatively of waterproof fabric in cool patterns. If so, I'd + this.
rubyminky, Nov 14 2005

       //will probably latch onto something equivalent: tote-bags, attache cases, etc..// I believe its the "European mens carry-all"   

       And on that note, it why dont those 24 nicotine patches fall off with sweat? Surely we develop a pocket sized version of that with a zip at the top.   

       To avoid the annoyance Perhaps the glue could employ some sort of mild topical antistetic (similar to the kind monquitoes or leeches produce) to avoid irritation - and image the nocotine buzz you would get with a patch that big! Out!
sprogga, Nov 14 2005

       Didn't Marsupial Mammals bake this one millions of years ago?
Dub, Nov 16 2005

       Yeah, but they didn't file a patent. Fools.
rubyminky, Nov 17 2005

       GREAT IDEA! But you missed the mark with the execution. All you need is stick-on pockets. They could come in different sizes.<p>   

       Just clean your skin with the attached alcohol wipe. Peel off the cover from the adhesize pad, and stick the pocket wherever you want it.<p>
the_jxc, Nov 17 2005

theleopard, May 07 2009

       I don't think it's been said yet, but this would allow nudists to take part in "Is that a ... in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?" jokes.
hippo, Aug 20 2009

       I don't know why, but I had originally [-]'d this. After having posted the exact same idea myself some 20 or so years later, it seems fair I switch that to a [+]. Does it seem strange to anyone else that posts, *on the internet* (that new-fangled, shiny and exciting technology they're all talking about these days) can be over 20 *years* old?
zen_tom, Aug 03 2021

       They've learned to drive and got jobs, too. I'm so proud of them. No, wait; I was thinking of my children.
pertinax, Aug 03 2021

       Yep [a1], not strange at all, it does rely on a certain persistence of server service though but people like wayback have that in hand (for the time being anyway), I can even foresee a new form of 'archaeology' eventually developing, one you can do from your living room with a keyboard.   

       But that aside, anyone else's brain read this title as 'Pocket Nudists' or was that just me?
Skewed, Aug 14 2021


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