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Polecat Relay

Exciting new track and field event!
  (+5, -1)
(+5, -1)
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The Polecat Relay is a new track and field event, identical to the conventional 4x400 relay, with the exception that the relay baton is replaced by a polecat. Teams dropping their cat will be required to chase it down and retrieve it before finishing the race. To insure adequate cat supplies, each team brings a polecat, and polecats are then randomly assigned to teams by drawing.

Any injury to a polecat is, of course, grounds for disqualification. Any injury to runners is, well, pretty much par for the course.

tspyz, Jun 07 2002

(?) a related breed.. http://users.1st.ne...errets/mltcphls.htm
this one might be harder to hold on to.. [yamahito, Jun 07 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

(?) American Ferret Association http://www.ferret.org/index.htm
They strongly oppose declawing ferrets. Ferret Expo 2002 was held in Pennsylvania in March. [pottedstu, Jun 07 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]


       Which kind of polecat? Ferret or skunk?   

       My father, when he was a kid, knew someone who hunted skunks to sell to a furrier. He'd find them, then tease them until they did the 'turn around and stomp their feet' thing, at which point he'd grab them by the tail. Lifting a skunk by the tail apparently throws it's ass out of gear so it can't shoot.   

       One day, he'd caught two of them and was running home to put them in cages. Only, he tripped, and threw his hands out in front of him to stop his fall...
StarChaser, Jun 07 2002

       Between use, you'll have to keep the smelly polecats in the pole-vault.
FarmerJohn, Jun 07 2002

       Pole-cats in the pole-vault. Heh. Not bad.   

       'Dya hear the one about the toothpick that was a tadpole?
beauxeault, Jun 07 2002

       It's actually not too difficult to carry a polecat (or ferret) in one hand without being bitten. Just make sure its front feet are between the index and second finger, and hold firmly. Transferring from one runner to the other would be tricky, not not impossible with practice.   

       I don't think you can do the same for a lynx, however.
yamahito, Jun 07 2002

       they eep rather than purr or meow, have rather sharp teeth and poor eyesight, and smell rather musky. They are naturally litter trained, and automatically "do it" in one corner (though they usually choose the hinge of the cage, in my experience).   

       But they are adorable when you get to know them. My brother keeps some.
yamahito, Jun 07 2002

       no. also they're more bouncy than slinky.   

       Are you sure you don't have ferrets in america? I think you'll find you do...
yamahito, Jun 07 2002

       Not only do they have ferrets in the US, they have the American Ferret Association.
pottedstu, Jun 07 2002

       Strictly speaking, a ferret is a domesticated polecat, and tend to be albino - as is referred to in UB's first link, now that I look at it..
yamahito, Jun 07 2002

       I always thought a polecat was a skunk. Different people, different cultures.
barnzenen, Jun 07 2002

       they're related, apparently.
yamahito, Jun 07 2002

       As per UB's first annotation, one could organize a sporting event with 10 furry-bitey-animal-related contests and call it something like the Tetanus Decathlon. Maybe the last contest would involve self-administering all the required shots as quickly (or, I suppose, as beautifully, in the same vein as figure skating) as possible. No pun on vein intended.   

       Or, similar to a video game, the last contest could involve a large "boss" animal... Maybe you have to put an official event t-shirt on a grizzly bear.
earl, Jun 07 2002

       Or what if you have to drive from Paris to Dakar with a badger, a beaver, or a vole in your underpants?   

       I suppose the rule could be, all race contestants have to have their national animal down there, or, if that's too difficult, any animal that appears on your currency.
earl, Jun 07 2002

       But then no two commonwealth countries could be in the same race.
Monkfish, Jun 09 2002

       Where would this leave us brits? I would hardly classify our monarch as an animal.
kaz, Jun 09 2002

       We can just use the short one, Harry, the spare heir.
[ sctld ], Jun 09 2002

       Jamaicans have a crocodile on our currency, can we play too?
senatorjam, Jun 10 2002

       I felt sure that British contestants would have a lion in their pants. I personally am having trouble deciding between the beaver, the kingfisher ($5), or the common loon ($20). Part of me feels that the constant, anguished yet beautiful cry of the loon would inspire me to complete the race more quickly.   

       As for Jamaican contestants and their crocodiles, I say welcome to the race.
earl, Jun 10 2002

       A beaver in the pants, eh?
barnzenen, Jun 11 2002

       How about Canadian money? The Toonie has the queen on one side and a bear behind...
StarChaser, Jun 12 2002


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