Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Pool Table

Come on in, it's wet and warm.
  [vote for,

Roland poured a glass of chablis for Nancy, placing it on the bench and reaching for a small bowl of salty snacks.

"Would you like to try my spa?" he offered, expectation oozing from his voice like sweat from a heavyweight boxer in the fourteenth round of a world championship bout. "There's a spare swimsuit in the bathroom, hanging on a hook by the shower. It should fit you."

Nancy looked around, confused. The spa must be outside. In that case, it would be within view of dear, old Mrs Weinstein, who missed nothing that went on, here at Pay- Per-View Place. It was probably safe.

She emerged, a minute or so later, clad in a very skimpy one-piece suit, to find Roland sitting in a spa where there had previously been a billiard table. A heavy gold chain glinted in the hair on his soon-to-be-ample chest, wine in the hand above the water's surface, and the tip of his tongue protruding pinkly through the gap in his front teeth.

She looked more closely at the device, seeing how the top had clamshelled in half, to reveal a hot tub with padded bolsters on either side. It appeared Roland was naked, beneath the water...

UnaBubba, May 03 2012

Lawn pool http://www.youtube....watch?v=PSgusGf9OTk
A similar example of screwing with a definition to comic effect [oscil8, May 04 2012]


       A scintillating tale (tittilating, even), but it's not a Halfbake. It's just one WKTE object/device being used to conceal another.
Alterother, May 03 2012

       Show me where someone is selling them.
UnaBubba, May 03 2012

       This idea needs less Roland.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 03 2012

       To be honest, I really don't like Roland. He's an amalgam of all of the sleazy, gutter-dwelling bastards I've met in my life, with a broken moral compass and an unjustifiably inflated sense of self- worth. He's the sort of guy who rips the silver lining out of every cloud and sells it to supply his coke habit.   

       I think we all know someone roughly like him, though Roland (I gave him the name of someone whom I detested in childhood) epitomises the worst of all of those lowlifes we know and hate.
UnaBubba, May 03 2012

       I prefer Roland to Jim.   

       Roland I can take. Roland I can understand, even appreciate his motives, if not agree with them. Roland is a sleaze, but he's our sleaze.   

       Jim is festering human waste.
Custardguts, May 03 2012

       We have a mascot. That's what we've been lacking, a mascot. Roland fits the bill to a T.
blissmiss, May 04 2012

       More like a glove puppet. He'd enjoy that.
UnaBubba, May 04 2012

       Some sort of marionette - come - marital aid, perhaps?   

       Yes, I think he'd like that very much.
Custardguts, May 04 2012

       Marionette? Why would he want to marry her?
UnaBubba, May 04 2012

       // Show me where someone is selling them. //   

       A spa & pool shop, a high-end furniture store, and an electric motor & industrial machinery supplier. Somewhere in the world, I bet we can even find all three in the same building.
Alterother, May 04 2012

       Just a technicality, but I'm not a fan of the clamshell approach. This would cause a seam down the middle of the table, affecting gameplay.
AutoMcDonough, May 05 2012

       That can be fixed, with enough precision engineering, [Auto].
UnaBubba, May 05 2012

       //That can be fixed, with enough precision engineering// Unfortunately, I have a feeling that it is quite hard to precision engineer felt, being non-waterproof and (I am guessing) prone to expansion over time.
erenjay, May 06 2012

       Synthetic felt is waterproof and lasts longer.
UnaBubba, May 07 2012

       If the felt is waterproof, then the playing surface can simply sink into the tub and the water quickly injected from a holding tank. The pockets will then double as massage jets.
Alterother, May 07 2012


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