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Portable Forests

  (+3, -1)
(+3, -1)
  [vote for,

Move forests to where the lumberjacks can't get them. Global warming will become a thing of the past, rather than just something that probably doesn't exist.
lubbit, Apr 28 2001


       Where lumberjacks can't get them....   



globaltourniquet, Apr 28 2001

       Chainsaws don't kill trees, Lumberjacks do
thumbwax, Apr 28 2001

       RT: maybe individuals can't carry them, but you could hire an army of Scottish Caber-tossers.
nick_n_uit, Apr 28 2001

       Unfortunately, there's nowhere lumberjacks (we call 'em loggers in Oregon) can't get at them. Maybe you should concentrate your efforts on creating self-defending trees--Pinursus horribilis, the Grizzly Bear Pine, for instance.   

       Remember the film Silent Running, in which the forests were all moved to space stations?
Dog Ed, Apr 28 2001

       Self-defending trees won't work. The lumberjacks would adapt counter-measures.   

       Maybe we should tax paper use to subsidize environmental protection of threatened forest land.
globaltourniquet, Apr 28 2001

       Radical "eco-terrorist" types add metal spikes to trees to make them "self-defending" (creating serious risk of injury for the chainsaw operator).
egnor, Apr 29 2001

       The poor trees. I certainly can't imagine having metal spikes imbedded in me to protect me from chainsaw murderers.
globaltourniquet, Apr 29 2001

       I have several metal spikes embedded in me, and so far they've worked wonderfully --- I haven't been chainsawed to pieces by a lumberjack, despite *several* visits to Oregon.   

       (My understanding was that trees were supposed to be spiked in places that the chainsaw will miss: the hope is that the spike will be carried to the sawmill, which it will destroy. It doesn't hurt the company that much if a few loggers are killed, you can always hire another one, but mills are *expensive*.)
wiml, May 01 2001

       Well, you can't be sure of the correlation there. Just like the fact that you've never seen an Elephant hiding in a cherry tree doesn't demonstrate that their strategy of painting their toenails red works. I've been to Oregon many times myself, spike-free, and have also managed to avoid chainsaw massacre. But if I can assume by your post that you're volunteering for sawmill destruction duty, knock yourself out.
globaltourniquet, May 01 2001

       I misread this as "potable" forests...   

       I'm voting for it based on my poor reading skills!!!
davros42, May 02 2001

       Baked in Scotland a long, long time ago. For didn't Great Birnam Wood eventually reach High Dunsinane?   

       I didn't really want to do it. It was was my wife, she forced me.
Gordon Comstock, May 02 2001

       Baked: by the Yank administration. Dubya's (and Clinton's) preference re: the Kyoto agreement was not to reduce CO2 emissions, but plant and "harvest" rapid growing forests that act like spounges for all the greenhouse gases. In this way they they could move a forest next to any high poluting area in the hope this way tubby gun toting yanks could carry on driving everywhere in 5 litre gas gusslers without harming the environment.   

       What I want to know is why Dubya didn't submit that idea to halfbakery...
mcscotland, May 02 2001

       [Gordon Comstock] obviously did.
angel, May 02 2001

       I do believe that the Portable Forest main feature would in its self, defeat the point of a forest. I believe that forests are ment to stop erosion and whatnot.
tinamn, Jun 19 2002

       "Maybe you should concentrate your efforts on creating self-defending trees"
Explosive flora? Where's [AfroAssault]?
phoenix, Jun 19 2002

       UB exploded his lawn recently <she said trying to be helpful>
po, Jun 19 2002

       "As we all know, trees can't defend themselves; except for the Mexican Fighting Tree." --Butchered Simpsons quote
AfroAssault, Aug 24 2002

       Run, Forest, Run!

I dunno, Homer - those Cambodia forests are pretty tough
thumbwax, Aug 24 2002

       Baked by Shakespeare ! Well, atleast in a story !
riskyrisk, Apr 22 2004

       on top of tall buildings and inside buildings. imagine a forest in one's home. one could have a garden orchard hangin out with maples redwoods ferns elephant ear in an autonomous house
Evenessence, May 19 2004


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