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Privacy Helmet

Linking too-talkative people together, leaving the rest of us alone
  (+11, -1)(+11, -1)
(+11, -1)
  [vote for,

I went to a recent movie where a realistic, large airplane/gunship is flying over the enemy shooting really big and hot bullets at them. The shells were glowing red and made a nice "ca-CHUM ...ca-CHUM" sound as they flew from the craft. The view was slightly blurry due to all the exciting action. I liked this scene as much as any other. That is until my friend next to me steals the fine moment by pointing out that "Oh, come on! That is so fake. No way can you fire super-heated tungsten rounds from the SIDE of a plane. Maybe the back. But give me a break. And what kind of plane was that anyway..." This went on a little more, but I forget the technical jargon he used.

[SEGWAY] So....

I suggest kindly to my friend that he & I will both enjoy the movie better if he puts on the Privacy Helmet. This is a full head helmet, well insulated against sound, but airy and cool. Not at all stuffy. It contains a nice sound system for such a small area, with a matching quality microphone. With the helmet on there are a few different chat channels he can tune into and contribute to with his comments: The Tech-head Channel (ripping apart every unrealistic moment of the film as it happens) The Sarcastic Channel (where you can shout "get a room" during the kissing scene) and the I-Love-It Channel (where you can quietly say how "awesome" a scene is and no one on the inside will think your dorky for saying it.)

Now, I don't mind belittling a movie, television or theater scene from time to time. I rather like poking fun at a bad movie, inserting lines that are more appropriate and way funnier, if I do say so myself. But I understand when I do, that not everyone wants to hear it; so I'll put on the privacy helmet and be among friends. Everyone else will have to enjoy the moment without me.

macncheesy, Aug 18 2007

Segue http://www.thefreedictionary.com/segue
[Klaatu, Aug 26 2007]

Segway http://www.segway.com/
[Klaatu, Aug 26 2007]


       mystery theater 3000 helmet [+] me likes
evilpenguin, Aug 19 2007

       Yeah I like this idea a lot. [+] I want them to also be able to answer their cell phones this way, optionally. The helmet will vibrate and they will say "Hello? Yeah, I'm at the movies" without me ever hearing them.   

       I thought this only happened in MadTV sketches, but it happened to me a few months ago. I couldn't believe it. She was right behind me, her phone rang (not vibrated) and she picked it up and tried to talk over the movie so she could hear herself.
globaltourniquet, Aug 19 2007

       And the git wearing this bulbous monstrosity is going to sit directly in front of my (shortish) wife. One big loud bone from me.
Galbinus_Caeli, Aug 19 2007

       Wife [A_D]. Not date. I would have to take it off of her eventually. I can't just drop her off at the taxi stand with cab fare.
Galbinus_Caeli, Aug 19 2007

       I think [Galbinus] just needs a booster seat.
macncheesy, Aug 25 2007

       I think you mean seque, not SEGWAY.   

       Or maybe not.
normzone, Aug 25 2007

       Actually, it's segue, not seque. We're both corrected.
macncheesy, Aug 25 2007


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