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Qualifications for Failed Doctors

Cos I studied hard to fail medicine
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It occurs to me that it is a major achievement even to be accepted into medicine. It is also a major achievement to pass even the first year of medicine.

My idea is to give a qualification to people who failed medicine for whatever reason.

A few ideas are:

POAFMOWIL(med): pretty old and forgot most of what I leant

FFY(Med): failed first year (medicine).

FAAO(Med): failed almost all of (medicine).

FRACONQD: Fello of the Royal Australian College of Not Quite Doctors. A subset of Doctors San Frontiers, though known as Doctors Sans Ideas.

DFAFTU: Disected Frogs and Fucked that up.

Brett-Blob, Dec 07 2007

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       Vegetarian ? ?
Brett-Blob, Dec 07 2007
  

       Well, that would be an easy job.
daseva, Dec 07 2007
  

       Based on the medical students I saw when I was a student, most would earn a DIOS (Drank Instead Of Studying).
hippo, Dec 07 2007
  

       They could get a FTLTDBAAAAE known as a Faulted BA - (failed to learn the difference between an arse and an elbow) Warning - list alert, but not a bad idea, with other applications (+)
xenzag, Dec 07 2007
  

       In the UK there are National Vocational Qualifications - NVQs - with grades 1,2,3,4.   

       For just getting into medical school, you get an NQD1 (Not Quite a Doctor). For each year sucessfully completed you get the next grade, NQD2, NQD3.....   

       What happens then is anyone's guess.
8th of 7, Dec 07 2007
  

       why doctors? its a bit elitest.   

       what would you do with failed plumbers or car mechanics?
po, Dec 07 2007
  

       For Pumbers - FTLTDBAAAAEJ - Failed to learn difference between..... and an elbow joint ?
xenzag, Dec 07 2007
  

       of course.
po, Dec 07 2007
  

       I'm elitist. I hate all elites.
theleopard, Dec 07 2007
  

       It's possible to do a BSc in medicine if you don't finish an MB, and there's also MB and ChB before MD, so i'd say this was baked.
nineteenthly, Dec 07 2007
  

       // A Patronising And Arrogrant Twat //   

       I don't think you HAVE to be one to be a doctor .... <checks round > .... oh, sorry. You're right.   

       // failed plumbers or car mechanics //   

       They become Local Councillors.
8th of 7, Dec 07 2007
  

       Only person I know who dropped out of studying medicine became a ... a ... a LAWYER.
calum, Dec 07 2007
  

       Hypocritical Oath?
Jinbish, Dec 07 2007
  

       Hypercritical Oaf ?
8th of 7, Dec 07 2007
  

       //Hypocritical Oath//   

       Forgive it [cal], <mope>
Jinbish, Dec 07 2007
  

       Veterinarians have to study quite a quite a bit; in the US it is statistically harder to get into vet school than med school because of the limited number of school programs.
RayfordSteele, Dec 07 2007
  

       if there are National VocationalQualifications NVQ's the maybe we should have Notional Vacation Qualifications for those who neverbothered to show up
giligamesh, Dec 07 2007
  

       // ... a BSc in medicine if you don't finish an MB, and there's also MB and ChB before MD, ... //   

       ... except after E
BunsenHoneydew, Dec 09 2007
  

       is it an urban myth that a vet can treat a human but a doctor can't treat an animal?
po, Dec 09 2007
  

       Yes, in the sense that people repeat it claiming they've "read it somewhere".   

       People seem to repeat it as if it were a fact about legality of a procedure - in which case it would need a reference to a country and more detailed circumstances; I think it's just meant to point out that humans are animals, and that someone with a broader understanding of mammal anatomy would have a better chance of applying that in a specific case. Which is a little weird, in reality, since vets aren't necessarily generalists - as a vet, you'd probably know cats and dogs at a very detailed level where knowledge no longer easily transfers to other mammals.
jutta, Dec 09 2007
  

       I think I told you this before but my dad was a pharmacist and he once tried to resuscitate a sick fish but it died. I hope he didn't break some law or some ethic code or something.
po, Dec 09 2007
  

       What about promotions into doctorhood? There's gotta be some natural hands out there that just don't have the patience for med school.
daseva, Dec 09 2007
  

       I would like there to be a profession involving knowledge and training in medicine, history-taking, physical examination and investigative procedures such as the analysis of blood and urine samples along with knowledge of drugs and other management which did not involve any actual treatment but rather allowed referrals to GPs or other health professionals. I think this would save a lot of resources and contribute a lot to preventive medicine. Doctors who hadn't got all the way through could sometimes still do that.
nineteenthly, Dec 09 2007
  

       [nineteenthly], there is such a thing, and it's called a nurse.
vincevincevince, Dec 09 2007
  

       // in which case it would need a reference to a country and more detailed circumstances //   

       In England and Wales (Scotland may be different), a fully qualified vet may legally both treat (including surgery) and prescribe for a human, although this is frowned on by their professional bodies in anything other than a genuine emergency. It is an offence for vets to represent themselves as Doctors. Doctors are not permitted to treat any animal (other than their own) "for reward" i.e. charge for their services.   

       I have myself received minor medical treatment from a vet. Having encountered exemplar specimens of both professions, I prefer vets to doctors.
8th of 7, Dec 09 2007
  

       The emphasis in a nurse's education and profession is on care and empathy, which is desperately needed, but sometimes a more reductionist approach is required. That's what i meant. This is not in any way to criticise nurses, for whom i have great respect, but i am talking about education and training with a different emphasis. My experience tells me they don't have this, because it isn't relevant to their work. Nevertheless, there is a gap. I spend up to three hours with each patient, the average being around an hour and a half, at monthly intervals or less, and they can call on me 24/7/365 for free. That's the sort of support i'm talking about, and if that was properly available here, the government would save shedloads of money.   

       That's the sort of profession i'm talking about, and failed doctors would most definitely often be up for this.
nineteenthly, Dec 09 2007
  
      
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