Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Strap *this* to the back of your cat.

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Rant Therapy

This had better not turn into a rant . . .
  (+7, -2)
(+7, -2)
  [vote for,

Bush! Economy! Taxes! Poverty! Gas Prices!

Have you ever had one of those days when you have to rant? You just NEED to yell and complain about something? When you need to rant at a real person, not a wall, or a blog? If you answered "yes" to any of these quesitons, then you should ask your doctor if Rant Therapy is right for you.

Our experienced therapists will sit in their chairs with steepled hands, listening and nodding, while serving you tea in breakable cups which you are permitted to throw or break. Don't worry, first aid is standing by in case you hurt yourself. Call 1-800-555-RANT. Remember, if you have heart conditions or high blood pressure, consult your doctor before taking part in any rant therapy.

I think that that explanation is simple enough. A therapist listens to your ranting, without any of the infuriating questions that therapists always answer with. Advantages: people don't have to listen to your rants, therapists get paid just to listen, and you feel better in the end. With Rant Therapy, everyone wins.
-----, Apr 08 2005

Monty Python's Argument Clinic http://www.mindspri...mfpatton/sketch.htm
[Basepair, Apr 08 2005]


       <steeples fingers>

       Tell me about you mother.   

       I don't know, this is sort of what my friends (okay, friend, singular) and I do for fun at restaurants . . . breakable teacups included :-D
contracts, Apr 08 2005

       I came up with this idea after doing this on the phone with my friend. After I realized that I had been ranting for 15 minutes without him talking, we laughed and came up with this idea. His halfbakery name is [QuestionMark]
-----, Apr 08 2005

       What did ExclamationPoint think about it?
theircompetitor, Apr 08 2005

       He liked it. He didn't vote yet, because his computer's having problems.
-----, Apr 08 2005

       Maybe it needs Rant Therapy. Who knows? Computers benefit from deleting all the crap on them occasionally.
-----, Apr 08 2005

       You seem to know what you're saying.
reensure, Apr 08 2005

       [reensure] What do you mean?
-----, Apr 08 2005

       [2 fries] how did u know I had a mother?
benfrost, Apr 08 2005

       serial puns?
dentworth, Apr 08 2005

       Seinfeld: What is it with these guys?
<queue segue jingle>

       I could formulate a rant, right up his a$$ !
Jinbish, Apr 08 2005

       cereal buns, serial bunner, surreal bunnee, cereal bunny.   

       the rant is rended, go in pieces
dentworth, Apr 08 2005

       Hmm. So, did anyone actually like my idea?
-----, Apr 08 2005

       I voted for it, but it's not too different from actual counselling.
dentworth, Apr 08 2005

       I think it's baked as hell and it's ridiculous that you'd pay somebody for pretending to care what you have to say without any requisite for training in sociolog or psychology.
contracts, Apr 08 2005

       ataboy [contracts] let it all out.
dentworth, Apr 08 2005

       Well, the point is that this is for people who don't need a therapist, but just need to let it all out. It would cost less than a therapist, too.
-----, Apr 08 2005

       It's all a bit Pythonesque really.   

       Receptionist: Yes, sir?   

       Man: I'd like to have an argument please.   

       Receptionist: Certainly, sir, have you been here before...?
hazel, Apr 08 2005

       You can rant into my voicemail for only 50p a minute.
wagster, Apr 08 2005

       What about a 1-900-555-RANT number, where you can rant on the phone?
-----, Apr 09 2005

       [benfrost] I didn't, until you just admitted it.   

       I like it! First idea I bun in days. With this my wife wouldn't have to listen to my rants and vice versa. The rant therapist would have to be pretty good though. Taking me seriously, agreeing with me, cause I tell you, those bloody shrinks have yet to**.   

       Oh dear, I feel a rant coming on. I feeeel one of my rants coming on. I feeeeeel cold as a razorblade tight as a tourniquet, dry as a funeral drum.
zeno, Apr 09 2005

       I suppose I'm happy as a mule chewing briars .... please go on.
reensure, Apr 09 2005

       I've heard there's already a telephone hotline that does this in the UK, where you can yell at a real person for a fee.
whippinggas, Apr 09 2005

       Isnt this the basis for primal scream therpay?
lowbot, Apr 09 2005

       Well, actually, [lowbot], I think that this is a more advanced form of Primal Scream Therapy. Actually, sometimes not only do I feel better once I've ranted, I have fun ranting. Seriously, ranting is a good thing.
-----, Apr 09 2005

       As opposed to it's being, say, a problem?
reensure, Apr 09 2005

       well, yeah.
-----, Apr 09 2005

       To each her own, although I'd draw the line at approving fun that seems counterproductive.
reensure, Apr 09 2005

       From Family Guy:   

       Dennis Miller: "I don't want to go on a rant, here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antietam. I mean when a neo-conservative defenestrates it's like Raskolnikov filibuster deoxymonohydroxinate... "   

       Peter: "What the hell does rant mean?"
zmrgroovy, Apr 09 2005


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