Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Rectal Canary

Early warning of nastiness
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On a plane

Needed to fart

Uniquely smelly

In summary: Not good

Need an app

On a smartphone

That links to some clever thing

Fitted rectally

No wires

Powered somehow

NFC technology perhaps

FCC approved of course

Detects noxiousness and warns appropriately

Aircraft mode would be a problem: turning it off would be a challenge

DenholmRicshaw, May 18 2013

etc. Directional_20Fart_20Detector
[FlyingToaster, May 19 2013]

[link]






       So, who is it meant to warn? Or would it just tweet your status to friends and followers?
MaxwellBuchanan, May 18 2013
  

       Can you please add a remote speaker that can be placed a seat or two away? It could be triggered by the unfortunate event, making enough sound so that a potential accusers attention will be diverted long enough to provide plausible deniability...
Grogster, May 18 2013
  

       I don't get the jest of this, but do want to say hi to DenholmRicshaw.
blissmiss, May 18 2013
  

       // turning it off would be a challenge // I see feasible to train peristaltic movements to be detected as gestures in the touch screen. The real problem is to introduce the device with the proper amount of tactil surface .
piluso, May 19 2013
  

       [blissmiss]: He's referring to the use of canaries in late 19th to early 20th century mines to warn of gaseous emmissions from coal mines which could suffocate miners or explode. That's the gasses, not the canaries.   

       This version might be usefully connected to minors.
TomP, May 19 2013
  

       Okay, get it to some degree. Thanks for the explanation. Must be a language barrier.
blissmiss, May 19 2013
  

       Looking at this first thing in the morning, I read it as "Rectal Cattery", which brought some mental images I would prefer never to remember...
not_morrison_rm, May 19 2013
  

       Hello blissmiss - big grin :)   

       As it happens, an old friend of mine's PhD related to novel electronic detectors using biological components (no recta involved; nor canaries). He explained it to me once and I said "a bit like a canary in a cage then" and he said "yes ... sort of".   

       Twenty five years later at a recent get together I reminded him of his research contribution and, over the port, added the rectum. He is now something of a big cheese in marketing so his first response was "I can't see the market for it".   

       Immediately, I knew there was but one place for it.
DenholmRicshaw, May 19 2013
  

       Was this the port of Amsterdam?
4and20, May 19 2013
  

       on the other hand, reading this as "Rectal Cannery" could then be done as a remake of Cannery Row, which I'm sure Steinbeck would have approved of.
not_morrison_rm, May 25 2013
  
      
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