Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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RollaSheet

Start with a clean sheet
  (+9, -1)(+9, -1)
(+9, -1)
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Mrs Ivan (the sequel) takes great care of herself, the routine includes the consumption of several gallons of industrial strength body lotion per week. This is not a problem in itself but it does mean that our bed linen always looks more like the Turin Shroud than the crispy white sheets I favour. This transition from pristine and inviting to mechanics hand wipe repellence takes about half an hour after retiring. You just can't change your sheets every day, and the whole process of stripping and remaking, washing, drying and ironing things as big as sheets is a bore.

The Rollasheet would take all the hard work out of the task, consisting of a hundred yards or so of egyptian cotton, (or flannelette for big girls) rolled onto a spindle attached to the side of the bed. The free end would be passed across the bed and attached to a corresponding empty spindle the other side.
When you have sullied your linen to an unacceptable state you merely press a button to advance the roll one bed width.
Once the whole roll has collected on the "dirty" spindle it is collected and laundered for you by the rollasheet company, a fresh roll being left in its place.
A similiar stacked arrangement can be provided if you like a top sheet.
An Alarm function available on the luxury model will automatically roll you out of bed at the chosen time.

An additional advantage for those of us subjected to the predations of bedhogs is that, once you have been forced into a precariously balanced position on the edge of the mattress, a nudge of the advance button returns the interloper to their rightful side of the bed.

IvanIdea, May 08 2002

Infinite Sheets http://www.halfbake...a/Infinite_20Sheets
*Almost* the same thing, but not quite. [waugsqueke, May 08 2002]

[link]






       An additional advantage: no more wrinkles..
yamahito, May 08 2002
  

       Yeah, saw that [waugs] but I felt relationship was 81st cousin 17 times removed really. love you.
IvanIdea, May 08 2002
  

       As long as the uptake spool was housed in something that contained the dirty laundry smell. Three or four or five week old dirty sheets are not something I'd particularly want at my bedside.
bristolz, May 08 2002
  

       I take your point Bristolz, would not be too pleasant towards the end of its life. Possibly a built in bactericide applicator? Still might be worth putting up with for the bonus of being able to sweep the devilishly prickly crumbs of carelessly scoffed morning biccies away from the bottom.
IvanIdea, May 09 2002
  

       No more sleeping on the wet spot. Croissant.   

       This could be mounted into a large cartridge affair, like a fax machine toner cartridge. It could mount under the bed to free up side space.
waugsqueke, May 09 2002
  

       How about having a washing process built right in. Plenty of space underneath for the machinery, and could be set on a timer, or just flip the switch when you leave for work. Then you only need 2 or 3 times your bed's width in sheeting, rather than a month's worth. You could even have 3 different (but complimentary) patterns printed onto the same roll. Love it!!
MuddyBuddy, Feb 16 2004
  

       my plus got kinda lost somewhere. Ivan is still around lurking, I believe.
po, Dec 01 2004
  

       In this disposable consumerist society we live in, who cares about cleaning the sheets after use? Just perforate the sheet at the right spacing and use it like a huge toilet roll. If the duvet and the mattress were combined with the appropriate sheet roll (I'm sure these new super absorbent paper towels are adequate duvet substitutes) they could also be disposable removing all the allergens and bed bugs from you bed every time the sheets are changed.
Belfry, Dec 02 2004
  
      
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