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SHUT THE F*** UP alarm clock

Because sometimes, you want to express your need for silence in a more definitive manner...
  [vote for,

I'm in a foul kind of mood right now... as has been addressed in another post. Anyway, I looked at my hanging wall clock across the room a few minutes ago... and boy, did it look smug, just staring at me and grinning maniacally. "Bastard!" I thought to myself. Where does that clock get off feeling so damned superior? WHERE!?! I really just wanted to throw something at it to wipe that stupid grin off its face. And then it occurred to me that the most arrogant of all clocks is the alarm variety! They decide when you wake up, they decide if you'll make it to work on time, and they decide if you'll get canned for not making it on time. Those arrogant jerks! I think it's high time we put those bastard clocks in their place.

Anyway, on to the idea...this is a wall-mounted alarm clock with a protective steel cage that you mount on the far wall from where you sleep. Sticking out of the cage to one side is a large metal disc with a bullseye painted on it, and the arrangement looks very similar to a dunking booth at a carnival. Behind the whole setup is a 6ft×4ft wooden backboard with a thick cowhide cover and rubber pads on the back, and a long, narrow catch basket on the bottom. Next to your bed is a bucket of baseballs. Are you getting it yet? It don't shut up 'til ya hit it with a baseball. When you hit the target, the clock yelps in pain, the LCD display goes blank, aparrently dead, and is silent... until the predetermined snooze interval has passed. To shut it off and reset it, you have to slap the thinly rubberized metal panel (mounted at a right angle to the wall) on the other side. Hard. Does it hurt? Maybe. Is it satisfying? Oh yeah.

21 Quest, Oct 07 2009


       If you believe inanimate objects are picking on you - GET HELP!

       If you install the device as described, the contents of your bedroom will soon bear the scars of ricocheting baseballs. Of course, half the contents of your bedroom will be piled in one corner to make room for the 6' x 4' alarm clock.

       A much more practical (and thoroughly baked) version of this idea is the throwable alarm. This is a small electronic alarm clock mounted in your favourite kind of ball. When hit hard enough or thrown, it shuts off the alarm.
Twizz, Oct 07 2009

       That would mean having to find the clock after snoozing it to shut it off. Thanks, but not thanks. And a baseball isn't going to ricochet off this board, not with the wood, leather cover and rubber pads to absorb the impact.
21 Quest, Oct 07 2009

       Given that the primary purpose of an alarm clock is to initiate the process of dragging one's arse out of bed and into action, retrieving the alarm clock after snoozing it can only be a benefit.

       Why do you think a baseball won't ricochet off wood, leather or rubber (all elastic materials with relatively low damping coeffecient)?
Twizz, Oct 07 2009

       Leather actually has a very good damping ability, hence the reason it was often worn as padding under the steel plate armor worn by medieval soldiers, and isn't very elastic at all. Pull on it, it doesn't stretch. Wood has good shock-absorption ability, too. The rubber pads on the back are to help protect the wall behind it. Leather on wood would make a great backstop.
21 Quest, Oct 07 2009

       Elastic dosen't mean stretchy. Nice idea, though, except for the fact that stuff will get broken. Also, I'm not up for big challenges in the morning. Lastly, I thought the words "shut the fuck up" would be used somewhere in the description.

       This should be called something like Throw Baseballs to Make it Stop Alarm Clock.
daseva, Oct 07 2009

       I'm assuming that phrase would probably accompany the slapping when trying to turn it off early in the morning.
21 Quest, Oct 07 2009

       " Leather actually has a very good damping ability, hence the reason it was often worn as padding under the steel plate armor worn by medieval soldiers "

       The reason that leather was used was because nothing superior had been invented yet.

       But don't let me harsh your mellow ;-)
normzone, Oct 08 2009

       And yet leather is still one of the most highly regarded protective materials for motorcyclists to wear. Sure, there are other materials that are supposedly as effective, but their biggest selling point is that they're lighter and more breathable, which is why only street racers (and posers) tend to wear them. Those properties aren't required in this application. Leather would do fine.
21 Quest, Oct 08 2009

       What the shit kind of argument is that they wear leather because it looks cool. I saw a buddy of mine's leather coat ripped to shreds with road rash all over his body he still rides he still wears leather shit argument u have dosnt desrv prpr pnctatn u ssuck
daseva, Oct 08 2009

       I kind of like the image of this one. +
RayfordSteele, Oct 09 2009


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