Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
We are investigating the problem and will update you shortly.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Satan's Christmas Grotto

"Suffer the little children ..."
  [vote for,

Many places have a "Christmas Grotto" complete with the usual fake snow, people dressed as elves, fairy lights and of course a person portraying Santa Claus in the "traditional" red-and-white costume.

This can actually be quite an overwhelming and traumatic experience for kids, particularly small ones - so a damp lap is an occupational hazard for Santas, and many children are unable to speak above a whisper, verbalize their desires for presents, or even speak at all.

Now ...

Apparently, some children go through a developmental phase called the "Terrible Twos" which can be a right nuisance for the parents and everyone else in their vicinity. But they are also quite impressionable at that age, too ...

So, we are developing a concept for an add-on to the conventional grotto. Having been to see Santa, the victim exits through a different door (which slams shut behind them with an ominous crash) from the one they entered by, and finds themselves in Satan's grotto, complete with pitchfork-equipped demons, smoke and sulphur, lakes of fire, torture implements, and Old Nick himself - who proceeds to tell the cowering child that they if they're ever naughty again, not only will they get no Christmas presents, but will eventually end up back in the Infernal Regions for all eternity, suffering unbearable torment.

The terrified customer is then chased out of the exit by the demons, consoled by its parents, and then taken home.

Works best on Catholics.

8th of 7, Dec 12 2018

Icealndic kids horrors https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gr%C3%BDla
Grýla, the Yule lads, the Yule Goat [bhumphrys, Dec 13 2018]

The Czech Republic tradition... https://www.google....evealed-9509447.amp
What's really in that bag... [RayfordSteele, Dec 15 2018]


       Are there _really_ another 13 of these left in the magazine, [8th]? Presumably, if they were pre-empted you would feel it unnecessary to infl... I mean to post them? In which hope:   

       Santanistas: freedom-fighting elves.
Santav: GPS for sleighs.
Christmas Santamime: elf-explanatory

       <frantically working on more>
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 12 2018

       q.v. Krampus
pocmloc, Dec 12 2018

       // Are there _really_ another 13 of these left in the magazine //   

       Oh yeah ... lock and load.   

       <Ominous metallic clicking/>   

       Thanks for the suggestions - filed away for next year.
8th of 7, Dec 12 2018

       Who shows the demons what to do?
Answer: demonstrators. Hums contentedly in cat's ear as a reward.
xenzag, Dec 12 2018

       You can fit into a cat's ear ? There's not much room there ... we always thought you were taller.
8th of 7, Dec 13 2018

       Baked: Icealnd (see link)
bhumphrys, Dec 13 2018

       Marvellous. "Send 'em home crying", eh ?
8th of 7, Dec 13 2018

       It's too early in the morning, to understand this - Gryla wikipedia "She is depicted as a guardian of children who detests when they are mistreated."   

       I get the drift though.
not_morrison_rm, Dec 15 2018

       // a guardian of children //   

       Probably the Icelandic version of "tough love" ...
8th of 7, Dec 15 2018

       I thought the Czech Republic had something like this, too.
RayfordSteele, Dec 15 2018


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle