Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Second-Storey Emergency Inflatable Airbags

In case of fire, might as well jump...
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This garden rock/bauble/fake bush is hardwired to the fire detection system and its own power supply, or a manual switch that blows the airbag in a manner similar, but a bit more slowly and larger than a car airbag.
RayfordSteele, Oct 11 2020

Fire escape shrub Fire_20escape_20shrub
Prior Art [8th of 7, Oct 11 2020]

Tell me a story... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Storey
...about your days as a second storey man [kdf, Oct 12 2020]


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Annotation:







       Bonus bun if, after deployment, the homeowner can add standard moveable livestock fencing to the edges, to form an 'instant' bouncy house/trampoline-type unit for the yard apes*.   

       *Who need a relaxing screamy outlet after losing their home and, more importantly, their YuGiOh deck(s), to the conflagration.
Sgt Teacup, Oct 11 2020
  

       <link>   

       You could adapt one of those ghastley three metre tall inflatable illuminated Santas into a Fireman with outstretched arms ...   

       // losing their home and, more importantly, their YuGiOh deck(s), to the conflagration. //   

       Never mind that ... save the Betamax tapes with the original off-air recordings of Star Trek TOS ...
8th of 7, Oct 11 2020
  

       “...adapt one of those ghastley three metre tall inflatable illuminated Santas...”
-8th of 7, Oct 11, 2020
  

       Religious folk could opt for an inflatable Jesus as their savior instead of secular figures like Santa or firemen.
kdf, Oct 11 2020
  

       ^ Clever, you should post that.   

       Additional option: inflatable Jesus lifejackets and survival rafts...   

       A Jesus-shaped steerable canopy parachute is unlikely to be practical.
8th of 7, Oct 11 2020
  

       Clever? You trying to be nice or just make me paranoid?
kdf, Oct 12 2020
  

       "Aim for the bushes" - The Other Guys
xaviergisz, Oct 12 2020
  

       // trying to be nice or just make me paranoid //   

       One of those options has very low probability, but then again paranoia is inappropriate; it's an unjustified perception of persecution, and everyone really does hate you.   

       There's a third possibility, of course. We're not going to tell you what it is, though.
8th of 7, Oct 12 2020
  

       //Second-Story Emergency Inflatable Airbags// (sp. "Storey", unless for some reason that second bedtime story constitutes an emergency)
hippo, Oct 12 2020
  

       It must be bad if it has them jumping out of the window...
8th of 7, Oct 12 2020
  

       My dad was a real second-storey guy. Nobody ever believed his first story.
RayfordSteele, Oct 12 2020
  

       “ sp. ‘Storey’, unless for some reason that second bedtime story constitutes an emergency)”
-hippo, Oct 12 2020
  

       A distinction most Americans would not make, “storey” being a British spelling/usage.
kdf, Oct 12 2020
  

       The distinction, of course, being between correct and incorrect spelling ...
8th of 7, Oct 12 2020
  

       <Anticipates fight over which floor should be called the "1st floor" in 3...2...>
RayfordSteele, Oct 12 2020
  

       Explosive re-inflate rates? Just time the jump.
wjt, Oct 15 2020
  


 

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