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Self-Assembly Grand Piano

Flat-Packed At A Scandinavian Furniture Store Near You. (If you're near one, that is)
  [vote for,

CAUTION : For Display Purposes Only. (Unless you can tune a Piano)

When purchasing a Grand Piano, one often forgets that you must somehow get the thing into your house. The usual solution for a bungalow involves removing a window, hoisting the Piano up and through the window cavity, destroying your ornaments as you do so. For a flat or apartment, the difficulty in acheiving the task increases exponentialy.

The solution? A Self-Assembly Grand Piano. You simply remove all the pieces from the nice flat packed box that easily made it inot your home, and proceed to connect doo-dad Theta to thingy-ma-bobber Epsilon. Since constructing any flat pack furniture item is mildly taxing on the brain, the Self-Assembly Grand Piano comes with easy 'For Dummies' style instruction, set out in Primary school English with lots of diagrams.

Now, anyone can enjoy the delights fo a Grand Piano, without having to hire heavy machinery for the day.

[ sctld ], Oct 24 2002

Maybe one of these peopl know about 'Slef-Assembly' http://www.google.c...&btnG=Google+Search
For DrBob [[ sctld ], Oct 24 2002]

Don Martin... http://www.nachshon...tin/html/moving.htm
memories <sigh> - may be gone some time. [po, Oct 24 2002]

Yamaha Disklavier (Ultra Cool) Piano http://www.yamaha.c...l/?gDKG00002PRO2000
You never need to pay for music lessons again...nor would you likely be able to afford them after purchase. [hollajam, Oct 24 2002]

Yamaha CP-70 Electric Grand http://www.oceanbeach.com/ebay/cp70.html
Some assembly required. [waugsqueke, Oct 24 2002]


       This is sort of baked. Carpenters who used to make piano cases had to make it in such a way that it could be assembled AFTER it was through the door.
Alphaman, Oct 24 2002

       Sorry sctld, I didn't get past the first word on this one. My mind is awhirl with possibilities as to the definition of Slef-Assembly. It sounds, possibly, Glaswegian in origin.
DrBob, Oct 24 2002

       As long as it is intended as furniture and not as a musical instrument.
bristolz, Oct 24 2002

       You mean there is a use for a Grand Piano other than as a giant coaster?
[ sctld ], Oct 24 2002

       followed the instructions [sctld] and with the help of some super-glue, 6" nails and a chain-saw. looks OK but it sounds terrible.
po, Oct 24 2002

       To lean on and pretend you are Dean Martin? (Martini's mmmmm).
blissmiss, Oct 24 2002

       hey you, keep your glass rings off my lovely grand piano. <rubs at mark and tuts to herself>
po, Oct 24 2002

       //without having to hire heavy machinery for the day//   

       What makes the unassembled piano kit any lighter than the assembled unit? True, you might not have to bust out your window to get it indoors, but it's not exactly the kind of box you'd be carrying upstairs by yourself.   

       Does this also use the rugged particle board and crappy "strip-out-the-already-mis-aligned-hole-if-you-turn-it-just-a-hair-too-much" screw technology commonly used in other flat-pack furniture kits?
Mr Burns, Oct 24 2002

       I didn't say it was any lighter.   

       It is, however, less awkward.   

       And no, it would be quality made.
[ sctld ], Oct 24 2002

       Delivered by Acme Moving Co.
ty6, Oct 24 2002

       No, delivered by the buyer.
[ sctld ], Oct 24 2002

       I'd rather just have Laurel and Hardy deliver it. Or maybe those Don Martin guys...
snarfyguy, Oct 24 2002

       Can they carry a tune, also?
FarmerJohn, Oct 24 2002

       If you tune it, it can.
[ sctld ], Oct 24 2002

       I love Yamaha's Diskalavier Pro200 Piano with the clear top so I thought this would be a good excuse to add it to the links.   

       [sctld] We have an older piano that was left to us for safe keeping that has since been handed over to us. It wasn't kept in ideal conditions before we received it so I don't worry about taking it apart myself to fasten back hooks and make other adjustments. I've entertained lots of ideas for experimenting. One of my favorites is to replace sections of its box with glass or acrylic panel forms and then add DC glow wire to its profile or in combination to recessed ledges creating a color wash. You can see why I like the Yamaha.   

       The color wash would be especially nice for the lower front panel since that is such a dead space of lighting. I'm not sure which material would make the better sound though. I imagine glass panels would not work well unless they were set in clips with gaps to allow air/sound to escape. This was all really for ideas to put into your kit.
hollajam, Oct 24 2002

       Well actually it would be sort-of lighter to carry as it would probably come in several boxes rather than just one. Sure, in total it would be heavy, but box by box not so bad.   

       And as for tuning - check the yellow pages for piano tuners. There's sure to be one around somewhere.   

       The problem though is what do you do with it when you move? If it doesn't fit out the door do you have to disassemble it to move it? You can't just leave it there or you'll loose your security deposit... unless it's a house I guess, then just make it part of the deal like the washer & dryer. And even if you did want to move it, that build-it-yourself furniture doesn't tend to stay in one piece when you try to move it. It seems to want to return to it's component parts.
Aurora, Oct 24 2002

       I'm with you [sctld]. modular pianos ideal. Transformer pianos even better. I think it'd have to be a Decepticon. Change into a huge dude with a very wide grin, have to walk through doors sideways. Fey little sidekick with a soft head.
General Washington, Oct 25 2002


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