Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Self-destruct currency

Remote controlled exploding coins
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Coins which superficially resemble real currency, available with a remote control device which detonates them. Each coin is of a different denomination. The holder of the remote control device punches in the denomination of the appropriate coin, which then explodes with extreme force, releasing custard.
eleventeenthly, Mar 27 2008

http://www.swift.com/ [pertinax, Mar 30 2008]

[link]






       // explodes gently //   

       Boooorrrrrrr- ing.   

       {-]   

       Hint: edit "gently" to "with extreme force" and claim your bun ...
8th of 7, Mar 27 2008
  

       Is there something suggestive about something in one's pants exploding gently to release custard? Or am I just lonely?
baconbrain, Mar 27 2008
  

       Self-destruct currency? Wasn't that baked when we went off the gold standard?
globaltourniquet, Mar 27 2008
  

       It was when we sent all our money to China.
ldischler, Mar 27 2008
  

       Baked by GWB and Dick Cheney.   

       1.00 USD = 0.633721 EUR
1.00 USD = 0.498574 GBP
1.00 USD = 1.23937 DEM
1.00 USD = 99.4514 JP Yen
1.00 USD = 7.01350 CN Yuan
etc. etc.
nuclear hobo, Mar 28 2008
  

       Cheer up, [nuclear hobo], and export something.   

       By the way, the DEM (Deutschmark in the standard SWIFT codes) no longer exists, so how can there be 1.24 of them to the USD?
pertinax, Mar 30 2008
  

       useful for all those vending machines that don't deliver the goods.
po, Mar 30 2008
  

       Not if it's one for custard, or self-destruct currency come to think of it.
nineteenthly, Mar 30 2008
  

       custard vending machine - yes, there should be one on every corner.
po, Mar 30 2008
  

       Maybe such a vending machine should actually start with [MikeOliver]'s ustard as a raw material and proceed to convert it into either mustard or the substance with a thousand uses.   

       Custard In Custard Out.
nineteenthly, Mar 30 2008
  

       //available with a remote control device which detonates them.// Ergo, not *self-destructing*. And flushed down that same drain, my hopes of new directions in "cryptology".
4whom, Apr 01 2008
  

       "Another modest proposal" by Larry Niven has a wonderful method of actually having money self destruct when it gets accumulated in too big a pool... something that appears to be a growing problem for our society these days.
ye_river_xiv, Aug 14 2011
  

       uranium money? I would but the ever-living bejesus out of that.
Voice, Aug 16 2011
  
      
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