Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Self Defense Catheter

No, I Am Not Happy To See You...
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GROGco presents the latest in Senior Self Defense: The Cobra Strike Zap-O-Matic Personal Defense and Phone Charging Catheter.

At the slightest hint of trouble from any would-be robber, simply slam your knees together three times in rapid succession. The catheter will immediately disconnect from its handy leg carried bag and shoot out of your trousers at rocket speed. And, owing to the tiny copper fibers that surround each GROGco catheter as well as its extendable design, the would-be robber (or pesky feral cat) will be treated to 100,000 volts of pure debilitating electrical bliss.

GROGco recommends slamming your knees together rather early in the robbery process if the would-be robber is armed with a pistol to avoid any messy accidents should he already have his finger on the trigger.

Even in the unlikely event that the would-be robber is standing too far away, GROGco engineers are fairly certain that you should be able to beat a hasty retreat while said would-be robber is laughing.

Be sure to stock up on plenty of extra catheters to practice on Fluffy or Aunt Edna so that you will be ready when the inevitable occurs. (GROGco recommends turning electrical shock component off prior to testing)

Note: If you intend to use the phone charging feature, please pick a discreet out-of-the-way area to slip your phone into your pants. Finding the mini-USB jack by feel alone requires some finesse.

Grogster, Mar 06 2016


       Suggested category: "Halfbakery: Ideas never to be looked at under any circumstances whatsoever"   


8th of 7, Mar 07 2016

       Regrettably, it does not yet exist.
8th of 7, Mar 07 2016

       Well, at least it's not in other:general.
normzone, Mar 07 2016

       Dang... maybe I should offer them in fruity colors...
Grogster, Mar 07 2016

       My second day using this site and I come across this, what have I gotten myself into?
satnavtomington, Mar 07 2016

       A dark and twisted realm, from which there is no escape. Ever.   

       Welcome to the halfbakery.
8th of 7, Mar 08 2016

       //My second day using this site and I come across this, what have I gotten myself into?// The true meaning of life?
blissmiss, Mar 08 2016

       [marked-for-tagline] // A dark and twisted realm //
whatrock, Mar 08 2016

       //My second day using this site and I come across this, what have I gotten myself into?//   

       [satnav] your instincts are quite correct; you are doomed. However, it's not all bad -- if you search your cell you should find the complimentary dinner mint we left as a token of our appreciation. Enjoy!
Grogster, Mar 09 2016


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