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Self Destructing Car (80,000 miles)

Computer in car blows engine when odometer reaches 80,000.0 miles.
  (+3, -31)(+3, -31)(+3, -31)
(+3, -31)
  [vote for,

If you are not lucky enough to drive a Ford, the computer in your car will sense when the odometer hits 80 thousand miles and then shift the automatic transmission to neutral or lock the clutch down and open the throttle wide until the engine runs so fast it blows. While the engine is in the process of blowing, perhaps the starter should try to crank the engine while it is already going at 8,000 r.p.m..

Other variations on this idea can include applying voltage to the alternator to spin it the wrong way in order to cut the belt, screwing up the ignition timing so the engine runs crappy, driveshafts that fall to the pavement for no apparent reason, or electronically rewiring the brake lights to the horn. While the brake pedal is a horn button, the gas pedal automatically stalls the engine.

Amishman35, Dec 17 2001


       As a form of spectacular controlled obsolence it as valid as any "exploding" idea. I don't know why he opted for Ford cars to be exempt though ...
Aristotle, Dec 17 2001

       Instead, let's have a car designed so that when the odometer hits 100,000 the entire car flips, rather than just the odometer.
PotatoStew, Dec 17 2001

       [UB] is our friend here a preincarnation if there is such a word?
po, Dec 17 2001

       Blissmiss, that's baked; it's called a 'Junkyard'.
StarChaser, Dec 17 2001

       self-destruct at 80,000 miles? must have been a ford tempo/topaz.

U.S. automakers used to do this, in effect, until the Japanese imports showed up.

By the way, the line between "trusty old veteran of the highway with a few cosmetic problems and non-functional (but non-essential) accessories" and "dying, falling apart, shitmobile" is so very indeterminate as to be non-existent. If you're the other guy/gal, there really is no difference. If you're the owner/driver of such a marvel, the line is very pliable.
quarterbaker, Dec 17 2001

       After 80,000 Miles a custard pie-bag should open into your face, buying used cars might never be the same again.   

       Merry Christmas everyone by the way.
The_Englishman_Abroad, Dec 20 2001

       [Aristotle], this feature has already been Baked in various Ford products for quite a long time now. In fact, my parents owned an '84 Ford Fairmont with a special advanced version of the self-destruct technology that limited its working life to 65,000 miles. I think it was also the beta test for the Exploding Paint idea here.   

       There is a reason why most people will tell you that "Ford" is just short for "found on road dead" or else "fix or repair daily".
BigBrother, Dec 20 2001

       hmmm....my F250 4 x 4 has 135,000 and is still humming along peacefully towing a horse trailer. My Honda has over 300,000 and is still the best thing I ever bought. My GMC Sonoma 4 x 4 has 140,000 and needs some body work.....(all other vehicles are still below the 50,000 mark)   

       I think that as long as any vehicle is properly maintained that should last 200,000 minimum. When I buy a vehicle, I plan on owning it til the day I have to take it out back and shoot it.   

       On the other hand, I have a Standardbred here that is looking for a new, non-racing home. Amishman, are you interested?
Susen, Dec 20 2001

       UB car as penis sub could be fun, no need to walk anywhere.
start her up and burn down the road with your legs in the air wahay!!!
edski, May 08 2002

       ...I would have voted for this except that this is already how Mitsubishi builds cars for Chrysler.   

       No bun. It's already been done.   

agentv, May 10 2002

       Don't quite see the point of this idea.   

       But if you're going to plan obsolescence of cars, do it with some style. Deliver new cars with an odometer reading 99999.9. Have the odometer count downward rather than upward. And when it reaches 00000.0, have the car self-destruct in traditional circus clown-car fashion -- backfires, exhaust falls off, doors fall off, engine explodes, owner shuffles away looking crestfallen with his foot jammed in a bucket.
JKew, May 11 2002

       StillRuns.com Before computers...when life was simple.
stillruns, Jun 14 2002

       Why not do this idea with motorcycles (especially Japanese ones)? Their odometers only have five digits (plus a decimal point) so unlike cars, especially European ones, which go 99,999 miles then flip over to 100,000, the motorcycle odometers go 99,999.9 then back to 00,000.0. As you see so few getting near to 99,999 miles where do they all go? Also why not make countdown odometers mandatory for these things? It's an idea I have had for years now.
smokeyjohnson, Aug 14 2002

       I've owned several American, Japenese, and even one German made car to make it over the 80 grand mark. The truck I'm currently running has over 100 grand on it now. It will still smoke them 35 inch tires. Problem is most people ( population as a whole) don't have a clue to what proper maintence on a vehicle is. Just 'cause you can open the cap and fill it with gas, doesn't mean you have what it takes to drive. I believe it should be made, if you can't service your own vehicle you shouldn't be issued a license. Ignorance is what makes up most of our junkyards today. Lack of proper maintence is what will kill any car. Given today's cars can go longer and longer without scheduled tune ups and oil changes... why did they have to do this? "Cause people refuse to take care of their belongings. To put this bluntly, as much as a vehicle costs today, Wouldn't you want to take care of something that cost as much as your house? Just my take on it.
TIMV, Sep 20 2002

       You know, if you can't maintain your house you shouldn't have a roof over your head. If you can't debug operating system code you shouldn't be allowed to operate a computer. I'm sure there's another analogy for being allowed to live.
PeterSilly, Sep 20 2002

       Personally, I think a car that's maintained by its owner is more likely to mess up horribly and explode all over the roadway. There is a reason people employ professionals to service cars. The fact that TIMV describes himself as a "tinkerer" doesn't inspire confidence either. Luckily, I don't think I'll be driving behind him any time soon.
pottedstu, Sep 20 2002

       I'm confused, why would you do this?
bspollard, Sep 20 2002

       Renault did this, it's called a "Le Car," in North America, or R5 elsewhere.
whlanteigne, Oct 25 2004

       Pontiac also did it with the Sunfire( Shitfire),but mine crapped out well before 80,000 miles!
python, Oct 26 2004

       Ahhh... a terrorists favorite weapon...
EvilPickels, Oct 26 2004

       Considering it would take nearly four years of driving this car around for 60 miles a day for it to explode, I hardly think it would be the most streamlined act of terrorism ever commited.
spiritualized, Oct 26 2004

       We engineers are trying to find ways to make cars last a 'predictable' amount of length of time, we call the 'design life.' These days we shoot for 100k miles or 150k miles, depending on the application. Everything that lasts beyond it just drives waste and cost into the system making parts last longer than they need to and cost more than they need to. Google 'Weibull Analysis' for predicted life testing.
RayfordSteele, Nov 04 2005

       anything to have less cars on the road is a good thing
benfrost, Nov 04 2005

       I think that most American cars manufactured pre-1980 had a 5 digit odometer simply because they didnt expect their cars to last 80K let alone the full 100K that the odometer could handle.   

       During the 70's and 80's american cars were thought to be crappy while european and japanese were thought to be superior. This was only because the owners manuals in the japanese cars had a very rigorous maintenence schedules while the maintenence in american cars was simply a kind suggestion. Because we as americans are so consumed with excess the idea would be that americans would just buy a new car every 2 years or 25,000 miles without doing an oil change.. thus leaving the horror of used cars.   

       I figure that if you don't know how to maintain your car at least have enough sense to get it to someone who can. And I know many people who wont do that. As long as it starts, thats all they care about.
Jscotty, Nov 04 2005

       With decent oil changing it every 3000 miles these days is overkill. Take it from a transmission engineer: Ford truck trannies have always been lousy, especially the remanufactured ones.
RayfordSteele, Nov 05 2005

       WTF?! Why would you want to blow up your car in the first place? Is this some kind of car company conspiracy to get us to sell our old jallopies and buy newer, EXPENSIVE cars, hmmm?
Tangora, Nov 05 2005

       "Because we as americans are so consumed with excess..."   

       Speak for yourself.
bristolz, Nov 06 2005

       Pa've, if you buy a Dodge truck, get at least the 4.7 L. The 3.7 engine is poorly balanced. And if you buy one with a manual transmission and have problems, I want to know about 'em.
RayfordSteele, Nov 08 2005


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