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Serenely Quiet Car Alarm

Peace Maintaining Anti-Theft Devices
  (+13, -1)(+13, -1)
(+13, -1)
  [vote for,

car alarms are outmoded technology because everyone has become acclimated to them. because they have a tendency to go off in unnecessary conditions, they've become sort of a boy crying wolf device.

i suggest a line of car alarms that are designed to frighten off would be car thieves without disturbing your neighbors at three in the morning. these car alarms could be chosen to suit the owner of the car, and could include things like the driver's seat moving all the way forward and locking, or the gas tank sealing itself so that the car won't run. my favorite would be a smoke machine in the passenger compartment that fills the entire cabin with smoke until the proper key is inserted.

these methods would be reveriable by someone with a key to the car, and would be designed to be no more than a minor inconvenience to the car's owner. for added effect, things like self-destruct timers and other similar additions could be employed.

tcarson, Jun 26 2006

Only some popping sounds PSA_3a_20Popcorn_20Security_20Alarm
[normzone, Sep 27 2007]

And no sound but the ringing of your cellphone DDDD_20Auto_20Alarm
[normzone, Sep 27 2007]


       Perhaps something along the lines of making the radio play the Backstreet Boys at full volume (with the doors shut and windows up, of couse, so you don't disturb the neighbors too bad and defeat the purpose of the new alarm) until the correct key is inserted. I'm almost certain that any car theif could only take so much Backstreet Boys music before pulling over and giving up. The self destruct timer would be handy, even if it wasn't actually hooked up to any explosives. For some reason, local authorities don't like C4 strapped to the gas tank of a car.
Hunter79764, Jun 26 2006

       i think that the backstreet boys might be going too far. i mean, eyeeeeesh.   

       when i said self-destruct, i meant just a red lcd timer with self destruct written above it.
tcarson, Jun 26 2006

       i'm not worried about the radio. if you are, i suggest a batmanesque metal shield slides down over it and gets padlocked to a hardpoint so the cover can't be peeled off.
tcarson, Jun 27 2006

       why'd you wire a bomb to a mini [bubba]? i admit there's some appeal, but still.   

       i know what you mean about flour. it gets in the air and then lights up all at once. whoosh!   

       you'll notice though, none of my methods would be likely to hurt anyone. thief or actual owner. i wouldn't want to climb into my car and inadvertantly inflict pain on myself.   

       i know for a fact that i would set off my own car alarm at least a couple times.
tcarson, Jun 27 2006

       baked. I know a guy who finds it boring to normaly live his life, and after making milions in a usual day's work, goes back home and bakes stuff for his protection. the tear-gas alarm for his car and yacht, the disinflating wheel system for his car, the automatic "s.o.s my name is [yacht's name] i belong to [his name] and i am being stolen" hidden radio alarm, the paralising gas alarm for his house are just a few items baked..
sweet, Jun 27 2006

       Or bees. A fake radio with bees, and if you remove the wrong radio then bees come out and sting you, and only the true owner of the car knows which is the right radio.
phundug, Jun 27 2006

       Now that bees are involved I will vote for this.
monojohnny, Jun 27 2006

       I'll bun this, but no bees hidden behind the radio. You've just consigned a load of innocent honeymakers to an untimely demise, since there's no food in there, and you've possibly halfbaked the "smell of death car radio" idea... which I will not be posting.   

       Besides, bees can only sting once, and there's that whole allergy thing. Use hornets. More painful, meat tenderizer has no effect, and they can sting again and again and again... They're also longer living, but some way to change them out from time to time may be necessary, and PETA will have a fit.
ye_river_xiv, Jul 28 2006

       Before we had airbags in cars I was a fan of that device that allowed you to easily remove the steering wheel.
Jscotty, Jul 28 2006

       maybe in severe attempts of theft the tyres could deflate
shinobi, Jul 28 2006

       Thanks [UB]. Add spelling to my "Not my strong point" list.   

       Somewhat irrelevant, but the self destruct timer wired to nothing reminded me of a car I saw in Hot Rod magazine once. It had a red pushbutton switch on the dash labeled "Panic Button." It also led to nothing.
Hunter79764, Jul 28 2006

       I always put pain generators in my car attached to the alarm. These are small shrill sirens that make your ears ring and your head throb. The noise IN the car is hellacious, but drops off fast outside.   

       I like the idea of filling the trunk with big capacitors and frying the b@sterd!
tigertiger, Sep 26 2007

       I'm curiouis about [sweet]'s mate's //paralising gas alarm for his house //   

       I mean, come on.
Custardguts, Sep 27 2007

       //Perhaps something along the lines of making the radio play the Backstreet Boys at full volume (with the doors shut and windows up, of couse...// Perhaps "Quit Playing Games With My Car"?   

       On a different note, my friend's mother once had (might still have) a Land Rover with a security system called "Maximum Security" or something along those lines. It once malfuncted and locked her in her own car until people from Land Rover came to free her. I can't imagine that's the first time that's ever happened before either; can you say lawsuits?
acurafan07, Sep 27 2007

       I'd like an extra Xenon headlight pointing straight up which called Batman.
marklar, Sep 27 2007


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