Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Sewer Pipe Vacuum

Flush assistance pump for the home's drainage system.
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Activated by a button one of which would be near each toilet, the machine would be located in the basement, and connected to the lowest of the sewer-pipe connections. It would attempt to create a large difference in air pressure between the outside of the toilet/drain's water barrier and the inside of the pipe, helping to clear blockages of toilets and sinks when the need arises. This could be achieved using several methods. A standard pump could pump air out of the pipe; however, this presents problems with clogged pumps / filters, etc. A more reliable and physically robust method would be to simply expand the volume of the pipe (a large hermetically-sealed and sewer-connected barrel in buried in the foundation; the barrel contains a piston that is lowered with an electric motor). Of course, a solenoid valve must seal the house's pipe at its exit end before the pump is activated, otherwise nothing interesting happens.
dsm, Jan 04 2002

220 Volt Electric Vacuum Toilet http://www.halfbake...c_20Vacuum_20Toilet
Similar, earlier, funnier, with one hell of a capacitor. [pottedstu, Jan 04 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Go-matic dog excrement remover http://www.patent.f...co.uk/internat.html
What quarterbaker describes. For your dog. Stick a tube up its behind. Attach the other end to a "general purpose suction device". [pottedstu, Jan 04 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       But you've just sucked out the water trap! Now the sewer gases are leaking into your home...
phoenix, Jan 04 2002
  

       the water-trap is self-forming.
dsm, Jan 04 2002
  

       How does this differ from the 220 Volt Electric Vacuum Toilet?
pottedstu, Jan 04 2002
  

       Just a thought (odd how these strike): you know how it is fashionable to have a central vacuum system installed in a house these days? Why not use a shop vac (wet/dry vac) for that central vac, and eliminate the toilet altogether? Just plug in the right attachments to the wall receptacle, and evacuate thine orifices. Sure would save on the water use. If you had a wall receptacle by your bed, you wouldn't have to get out of bed to pottie in the night. No more changing diapers, either. Just give the little rugrat a harness and an umbilical, and let it go.

Handy for sucking up stray spiders and rodents as well.
quarterbaker, Jan 04 2002
  

       quarterbaker: there might be odour problems with that. You'd need an airtight seal to stop the smell coming back out (like the u-bend water-trap you get beneath a toilet). And you'd have to empty your waste receptacle pretty regularly to avoid disease. It might be alright to suck up waste water with your vacuum, but shit needs special treatment.
pottedstu, Jan 04 2002
  

       pottedstu - you're exactly right. It's completely unfeasible. But I just had this image in my mind of sticking my member into a vacuum nozzle while sitting at the computer. Gross, I know, but some images tend to stick.
quarterbaker, Jan 04 2002
  

       quarterbaker: you're getting close to I think it was Rods Tiger's toilet elephant, which was cruelly deleted (not sure why; maybe he wanted to sell it commercially). This was a similar idea: just snap a hose onto the appropriate body area and sluuurrrpppp!
pottedstu, Jan 04 2002
  

       ravenswood: It wasn't my idea, honest! Please believe me.   

       Very scarily, there's a patent for something similar, to hygienically gather dog excrement straight from the dog (and it mentions a possible use for constipated humans). See link, or read the summary:   

       The appts. comprises a tube (1) with two apertures, the first of which, insertable in the anus, has a rounded end, and a dia. of approximately 2 to 4 cms. It is made of soft to hard plastics. The second end is connected to an all-purpose suction unit, and has a standardised ida. of approximately 3-4 cms.   

       The tube is screwed into the middle of a plastics funnel (2), the lower end of which has the same dia. as the second aperture of the tube. The other aperture of the funnel has a dia. of approximately 10 cms., and its edges are rounded. The total height of the funnel is approximately 12 cms, the tube standing proud of its upper end by approximately 4 cms, and approximately 6 cms of its lower end. The funnel locates correctly against the buttocks, thus preventing any unnecessary staining.   

       USE/ADVANTAGE - For the hygienic removal of faeces from dogs. The appts. can also find application with human patients who suffer from chronic constipation, or are bed-ridden.
pottedstu, Jan 04 2002
  

       I know if someone came in and said 'we're gonna stick this...' that it'd get me right out of bed, and they better have brought some large friends...   

       Peter, kind of a vacuum, it's a siphon. Once the flush starts, the water falling down the pipe pulls the other water <and additions> along with it. Generally.
StarChaser, Jan 05 2002
  

       Not surprising since most of the demand (desire?) for sewer suction would probably be in low elevation areas such as the Rouge Basin, where for some reason many houses are built with basements anyway. People on higher ground already have a siphon.
LoriZ, Jan 05 2002
  
      
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