Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Funny peculiar.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.




Time-Released auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Tourniquet
  (+6, -4)
(+6, -4)
  [vote for,

Use MikeD's Sexy TRaEAT! Once applied around the neck, it will thoroughly occlude your airway, and restrict blood-flow to the brain, giving your orgasm the near-death/suffocation sensation your perverted ass wants.

After two minutes, MikeD's Sexy TRaEAT will self release, allowing homeostatic ventilation and perfusion to resume, precluding our clients from being both the perpetrator and the victim of an embarrassing accidental suicide scene.

Available in chain link, studded leather, and silk.

*Mailed discreetly.

MikeD, Jul 05 2011

Sphygmomanometer collar Sphygmomanometer_20collar
Prior Art [8th of 7, Jul 05 2011]


       <Cole Sear>   

       "I see dead people"   

       </Cole Sear>
8th of 7, Jul 05 2011

       Old blood pressure machines should be refurbished for this purpose.
daseva, Jul 05 2011

       5 votes for a time-released auto-erotic asphyxiation tourniquet? for heaven sake people - have you all forgotten what real sex between loving adults feels like? I feel so sorry for you all.
po, Jul 05 2011

normzone, Jul 05 2011

       so glad [norm] is so norm.
po, Jul 05 2011

       Aw Jeez. This just gave me the visual of some old blind master saying, "When you can snatch the tourniquet from my hand... it is time for you to go." to a young David Caradine.   

       Make it stop.   

       [21] choking someone else is so much healthier than risking your own elf of course.
po, Jul 05 2011

       // have you all forgotten what real sex between loving adults feels like? //   

       Thankfully, yes.   

       // choking someone else is so much healthier //   

       <Evelyn Waugh>   

       "Choking on one's own vomit ? Whoever would have thought of choking on someone else's ?"   

       </Evelyn Waugh>
8th of 7, Jul 05 2011

       // Thankfully, yes. // poor baby. I think you've been deprived somehow.   

       <hands 8th a tissue> - sort yourself out, man. ewwwww.
po, Jul 05 2011

       btw, admin could we resolve the title issue somehow as well? TRaEAT? I feel like Hyacinth Bucket
po, Jul 05 2011

       //Thankfully, yes.// just don't argue with me 8th - - you haven't slept/ not slept with a real human female. just shout the fk up!
po, Jul 05 2011

       We understand it's kind of ... icky ...
8th of 7, Jul 05 2011

       I don't do this particular thing myself - let's just get that out of the way. However, i also understand that it isn't about not being willing or having the opportunity to make love and it's not a case of either/or. The fact is that there are various practices which are going to happen no matter what and people out there who will do this. In this particular case, it doesn't immediately and directly harm anyone else. If it did, it would have to be stopped. Because it exists, it makes sense to give people the chance to do it as safely as possible. The alternatives are:   

       * accidental deaths because people have improvised.   

       * people surviving because they've minimised the danger.   

       However, i'm also wondering if taking away the danger of death would make it less desirable for the people involved. I understand it works because of the vasodilation but i think it would also develop psychological elements.
nineteenthly, Jul 06 2011

       Can you add a TENS unit to your unit? No matter - bun [+].
Grogster, Jul 06 2011

       Undoubtedly the best type of asphyxiation. Someone should design a euthanasia machine that is autoerotic.
rcarty, Jul 06 2011

       I still think the whole subject is creepy...no vote.
xandram, Jul 06 2011

       // btw, admin could we resolve the title issue somehow as well? TRaEAT? I feel like Hyacinth Bucket
I feel like a cup of peppermint tea. But that title is just a cobbled-together acronym -- it's not trying to be easy on the eyes, so I have no business making it. And, really, the misspelling is the least of our worries here, isn't it?

       In factual terms, I'm surprised the trigger Mike picked was a timer rather than a dead-man switch, and I'm not sure that the (intended, at least) safety of the device, regardless of its mechanism, won't be a turn-off for the masochist customers.   

       And if you want to make fun of these accidents, I'd have expected a mechanism for disguising the cause of death, if one occurs. I don't know. Maybe something where the strangulation device releases and slinks harmless to the floor, disguised as some more commonplace fetish item, say one of those fluffy feathery shawls women sometimes wear around their necks. Call it a boa constrictor.
jutta, Jul 06 2011

       Groan...now my morning is complete - Thank you [Jutta].
normzone, Jul 06 2011

       I'm way ahead of you, [rcarty]! Won't be using it for many decades yet though.
nineteenthly, Jul 06 2011

       I guess I'll have to wait for it to become available to use it 'second-hand'.
rcarty, Jul 06 2011

       What [xandram] said. You possibly pervies.
blissmiss, Jul 06 2011

       //I feel like a cup of peppermint tea.// You don't _look_ like a cup of ... I'll get me (rain)coat.
spidermother, Jul 07 2011

sqeaketh the wheel, Jul 08 2011

       //shout the fk up!//   

       Marked for tagline, but on some other site.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 08 2011


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle