Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
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Conversational protocol enforcer
  [vote for,

England - people queue up for the bus, India - people throng onto the bus. Conversational protocols are also different in different places.

This invention would be an auditory feedback mechanism (similar to the one that sometimes is used to reduce stuttering), and queuing system that regulates realtime conversation by amplifying, delaying and playing back selectively, interruptive and protocol-violating vocalizations. This would allow for adaptive teaching of good conversational habits. So for instance it could be programmed to amplify and delay and play back selectively "ums", phrases like "so..." (in response to a yes or no question), and responses in political conversation that start with the word, "look,...". Imagine: "loo--" "LOOKLOOKLOOOOOOOK" "ahhhh, ok ok i promise to never say that again. " " oh my god i feel so great that i will not have to try to bite my lip, listen to the rest of your rediculous opinion and try to formulate my response all at the same time that i am willing to concede the point to you and pay you for a copy of that software."

JesusHChrist, Jun 03 2012

speech jamming gun http://www.dailymai...freezing-brain.html
[rcarty, Jun 03 2012]

Bollocks Bollockslater
Or... [skinflaps, Jun 04 2012]


       The _first_ thing about this idea that I'm having trouble understanding is what the fuck it has to do with how people in different countries board buses.
Alterother, Jun 03 2012

       This is [Jesus] channelling [Beany] channelling something with at least one hydroxyl group.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 03 2012

       Could you perhaps try reposting in English, [JHC]? The message might be a little garbled.
UnaBubba, Jun 03 2012

       There is an idea in here and a good one, but software already exists for this.
Phrontistery, Jun 04 2012


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