Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Sit on Me

Furniture in the Flesh
  (+10, -3)
(+10, -3)
  [vote for,

Surprise and amuse your friends or business associates at dinner, garden or tea parties with a special touch – human furniture. Your guests will squeal with enchantment and groan with envy as they try out the living, leather armchair or rest their legs on the otto-man.

Our staff of more than fifty trained athletes, with histories as mimes, street statues, art class models and meditation instructors, can be rented by the hour or for an entire evening. Posing in the buff or in a variety of upholstery, including thick, fluffy knits for a more padded feel, we can build a variety of pieces from a sofa to a 6 piece dining table set. We also offer coffee tables with a choice five different tabletops, floor lamps, a bed composed of four weight watchers and a love seat where you can get a hug while sitting alone. You may choose to have us mute, whisper sweet nothings, sing, massage or tickle.

To order this unique and remarkable service, see details and prices below. Note: we do not do bathroom furnishings.

FarmerJohn, Jun 18 2002

(?) Sit here. http://www.stone-de...sit-on-my-face.html
[mrthingy, Jun 19 2002]


       For a second there this idea seemed to be some kind of invitation...
polartomato, Jun 18 2002

       I could hold your gin glass/bottle but don't put out your cigs in my other palm.
FarmerJohn, Jun 18 2002

       Sorry, I only perform as furniture on a solo and exclusive basis.
StarChaser, Jun 19 2002

       And for the third time in half an hour...
<blackadder> Why spend money on expensive furniture when I have servants standing around doing nothing all day? </blackadder>
DrBob, Jun 19 2002

       surely this idea is baked by children ? speaking from some experience of trying to watch a video with my neice & nephew. At various points i seemed to have "comfy sofa" or "dangerous mountain, begging to be climbed" stickers on myself.

as an aside, how come an awake 3 year old is quite light. but they appear to weigh several tons when asleep & drapped all over you ?
mymus, Jun 19 2002

       I do'nt know what's more sad, the fact that someone would suggest such an idea, or the fact that it could probably work.
loke, Jun 19 2002

       At least no farm animals were involved.
popbottle, Dec 21 2016

       Shift change is going to be a theatrical work of art in itself.
wjt, Dec 23 2016


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