Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Sixty Metre Grannies

Give athletes someone to run to.
  [vote for,

I've always found it a bit odd to watch the sixty metres indoor sprint, where athletes rush from one end of the arena to the other in six seconds flat, and then crash into a padded wall at the finishing end of the track.

Sixty metre grannies would be a group of very burly chaps, dressed in granny outfits (large ornate hats, tweed, unnecessary amounts of poorly applied lipstick, sturdy high heels, pearl necklaces, robust handbags etc).

They would wait five metres past the end of the track, arms outstretched in encouragement for their "boy", ready to grab him under the armpits and swoosh him round to a stop. Planting a big granny-style smacker on the runner's forehead would be optional.

Fishrat, Feb 11 2008


       The Goodies?   

skinflaps, Feb 11 2008

       Yeah, I guess. Or David Walliams maybe. Although mostly in my mind I'm seeing a Quentin Blake illustration from a Roald Dahll story, but I can't remember which one.
Fishrat, Feb 11 2008

       ...with big poofy beehive granny hair [+]
pyggy potamus, Feb 11 2008

       //Planting a big granny-style smacker on the runner's forehead would be optional//...and then getting him to spit on her hanky (smelling of lavendar, of course) and wiping off an imagined speck of dirt from the naughty boys in the long-jump pit.
coprocephalous, Feb 11 2008

       Why not just have a line of gym "running machines" going at full speed just beyond the finish line? The runners would run onto these and gradually be slowed down.
hippo, Feb 11 2008

       Sixty Five Metre Grannies?
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 11 2008

       I thought this idea was going to be some sort of elderly, female Godzilla thing.
hippo, Feb 11 2008

       Kinky, [hippo].   

       Your anno, that is.
skinflaps, Feb 11 2008

       Thanks UB, fixed.
Fishrat, Feb 11 2008

       Run the sixty on tread mill powered quadracycles...gear the tread mill speed down so the forward advance is 1/4 the runners actual speed. A man or woman running at twenty would really be only going forward at a fast walk speed...with the application of very powerful disc brakes, I think they could stop in plenty of time....helmets and seat belts, of course, would be required except in very safely managed gymnasiums..
Blisterbob, Feb 11 2008

       To be clear, regardless of my desire for future fame and fortune, I can't imagine I would ever willingly run towards a burly dude in a bathrobe and wig. [+] anyway for the image.
shapu, Feb 11 2008

       That's a corking idea, [Blisterbob], worthy of a posting in its own right. Long-distance runners could use those contraptions as a kind of handicapping device, so that fast and slow runners could run together without one having to hang back.
lostdog, Feb 11 2008

       hippo, never mind their forward inertia.   

       I was hoping for a slow race of grannies with walkers.
RayfordSteele, Feb 12 2008


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