Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Skewer Gun

Compressed gas gun for driving skewers through a club sandwich
  [vote for,

A handheld, compressed gas gun is used to shoot skewers downward through a club sandwich or a gourmet hamburger. The unit operates like a pneumatic nail-gun, but it is powered by a standard CO2 cartridge for seltzer bottles.
Cuit_au_Four, Oct 15 2014

Shffffhfff mfffffhffff http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strapping
Mhffffff ffffhffffff [8th of 7, Oct 17 2014]

Submarine Sandwich Submarine_20Sandwich
The logical progression... [8th of 7, Oct 21 2014]


       This would be great, but you'd get through plates quite quickly.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 15 2014

       //This would be great, but you'd get through plates quite quickly//   

       Making the sandwhich all the more secure, resistant to inadvertant nudges, small earthquakes and theft by seagul.
bs0u0155, Oct 15 2014

       Sounds like one of those "it's not a weapon, it's a kitchen utensil" devices that will be introduced as exhibit A by the defense.   

       I'll take two.
normzone, Oct 16 2014

       I'll do a double take at anything that skewers clubs and burgers.
rcarty, Oct 16 2014

       Trendy places serve these things on thick wooden trenchers, don't they?
pocmloc, Oct 16 2014

       //This would be great, but you'd get through plates quite quickly//
Loris, Oct 16 2014

       // I'll take two. //   

       We'll take two gross.   

       Extra bun if it can be adapted to use .45 ACP blanks instead of CO2.
8th of 7, Oct 16 2014

       //introduced as exhibit A by the defense// The solution is to fire the sandwich onto the skewer, rather than vice versa.   

       And in any case, why are skewers considered necessary? They are just saying "Hey, we know that you just want to pile a whole dumpsterload of food into your gross gaping mouth, but the laws of physics make your foot-thick sandwich unviable. So, we'll just hold it together with a big nail. Happy?"
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 16 2014

       "Hmmmmpfff ! "   

       <Sound of munching>
8th of 7, Oct 17 2014

       I have a real problem with sandwiches too big to fit in any normal mouth. Once they pass about 2 inches thick, they cease to be a sandwich, the bread at the top and bottom are fulfilling a role that is entirely ceremonial.
bs0u0155, Oct 17 2014

       <Sound of munching>   

       "Mfff ? Nffff hffffff hnnnnnnn fffffff"   

       <Sound of munching>
8th of 7, Oct 17 2014

       The overthick sandwich problem can be solved by using tiewraps (the big, broad ones) - these can be pulled as tight as necessary to compress the sandwich.   

       Failing that, there are those machines they use for putting the plastic bands on boxes.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 17 2014

       <Sound of munching>   

       "Sfffffff Fhhhh mfff hfffffhffff mffffhffff"   


       <Sound of munching>
8th of 7, Oct 17 2014

       [8th], you're meant to take it out of the styrofoam box.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 17 2014

       + like
xandram, Oct 17 2014

       I think there may be a market for a domestic version of the device they use to feed plastic into extruders. Basically, a motorized helix which draws stuff from a hopper and feeds it through to a nozzle.   

       Such a device, perhaps supported on an elegant stainless-steel stand, could be placed in front of the diner. Burgers, sandwiches or whole animals could then be dumped into the hopper, only to emerge conveniently from the nozzle, around which the diner's mouth would clamp.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 17 2014

       How on Earth did you know about that? The Arby's research institute is supposed to be super secret.
bs0u0155, Oct 17 2014

       No, not secret. When they were telling you to "keep your lips zipped", they were referring to using the zip ties to hang onto the nozzle. It wasn't about the inadvertent release of confidential information.
lurch, Oct 17 2014

       //Such a device// [+]
pocmloc, Oct 17 2014


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