Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Submarine Sandwich

No skewers required ...
  [vote for,

"And in any case, why are skewers considered necessary? They are just saying "Hey, we know that you just want to pile a whole dumpsterload of food into your gross gaping mouth, but the laws of physics make your foot-thick sandwich unviable. So, we'll just hold it together with a big nail. Happy?" ([MaxwellBuchanan], Oct 16 2014, "Skewer Gun") <link>

What is needed here is the BorgCo Submarine Sandwich.

The meal of your choice is placed in a heavy-duty plastic pouch, heat- sealed, and the air extracted using a vacuum pump through an integral one-way valve. Each package is uniquely labelled.

The pouches are then loaded into metal cages slung around a bathysphere which is lowered into an oceanic trench. The water pressure crushes any remaining air out, and flattens the sandwich until it is a very flat thing.

The bathysphere is hauled up, and the sandwiches (now much diminished in size) returned to the client, who cuts open the pouch and can now enjoy the full benefit of a dumpsterload of food in a conveniently compact form.

8th of 7, Oct 21 2014

Skewer Gun Skewer_20Gun
The inspiration for the idea. [8th of 7, Oct 21 2014]

Single use self-destructing toaster Single_20use_20self-destructing_20toaster
Prior Art [8th of 7, Oct 24 2014]


       Or just smo wrestlers to sit on them. Not quite sure what would do for the flavour....   

       Would it not be possible to do the other way around, get a bit more utiility per sub dive trip? Capture deep sea squid in the deeps, pressure cook, then put in time delay format capsule, then as it dissolves in the stomach the radically squashed squid expands...fun for all the family.
not_morrison_rm, Oct 21 2014

       You could just wrap them, pop them in a pressure vessel and let in a couple of hundred atmospheres of nitrogen or what not. This means that the whole submarine malarkey is totally unnecessary. [+]
bs0u0155, Oct 21 2014

       LTA sandwitch   

       No need for Skewer gun, more digestible than the submarine sandwitch (8/7=1.14285714)   

       The LTA bread is made with extremely thin texture and very large cavities, so large in fact, that you must walk into the bread in order to eat it. The salads and meat are run through a blender and then sprayed in a micro-thin layer onto the 'bread'. The air in the cavities is replaced with oxygen 70% and helium, creating an exciting experience.   

       Eating the sandwich is a big effort and takes a lot of time, but is exciting. So you may actually lose some weight the larger the meal is.
pashute, Oct 21 2014

       I'm not sure what the bathysphere is accomplishing. Cheaper, shirley, to just sling the cages around a lead weight for sinkability?
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 21 2014

       The bathysphere is for the sous-chef, of course.   

       Do we need to explain everthing … ?
8th of 7, Oct 21 2014

       [bs0u0155] said [+] but that lonely bun up there is mine!
zeno, Oct 22 2014

       Check your physics - solids and liquids may be relatively incompressible compared to gases, but they are still compressible to a greater or lesser extent.
8th of 7, Oct 22 2014

       - except for black holes, which might actually be incompressible
hippo, Oct 22 2014

       //Solids and liquids such as pickles, tomatoes, meat, and cheese do not compress under high pressure. Only gasses compress.// I think it is reasonable to assume that most Halfbakers know that. Howevertheless, bread has many air pockets; and sandwich construction frequently leaves voids.   

       The proposed idea, however, seems somewhat ill- conceived. It states that the food items are first sealed in plastic pouches which are then evacuated. Now, if the evacuation is very nearly complete, then the food will collapse to its minimal volume and there is no point in submerging it. If, on the other hand, the evacuation is incomplete, then the submergioning will merely cause the remaining air to dissolve in the food; upon returning to the surface, the food will fizz and re-expand.   

       I'm not sure what the effects of the bends would be on 8th's hotdog, but I would pay to watch it.   

       Incidentally, has anyone tried keeping popcorn kernels under very high pressure for a time, and then explosively decompressing them?
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 22 2014

       //Solids and liquids....do not compress under high pressure.   

       Errr. even solids compress in Neutronium...
not_morrison_rm, Oct 22 2014

       //scummy rings around your bathysphere.   

       Sure I saw something about that on a home shopping channel..
not_morrison_rm, Oct 22 2014

       Well, regular run of the mill hydraulic gear can reach 10Ksi, which is about the same as 6700m under water. Not sure if [8th] is proposing dropping these things into the Marianas trench, but 6700m is deeper than most of the ocean floor, trenches included.   

       Some vacuum sealing machines, instead of "sucking" the air out, instead surround the item (in it's bag) with a water bath which is pressurised, this obviously allowing you to apply a greater compressive force.   

       But most of all, I'm shocked and astounded that [8th] didn't propose explosive compression methods. Shirley, if the near-solid pit of a nuclear bomb can be compressed down to a fraction of it's original volume by clever use of machined explosive blocks, something similar could be used to compress a sandwhich?
Custardguts, Oct 22 2014

       Well, there's always Jupiter..
not_morrison_rm, Oct 23 2014

       Somebody write up the idea: Explosive Sandwich Toaster. It's a natural off shoot...
bs0u0155, Oct 23 2014

       //[8th] didn't propose explosive compression methods//   

       An acquaintance of mine used to use ... civilian depth charges, basically, to form sheet metal for artistic purposes - but I think the main effect is just on the *shape* of the target object, not than its *size*.
pertinax, Oct 24 2014

       //Explosive Sandwich Toaster. //   

       Well, there's this ... <link>
8th of 7, Oct 24 2014

       You have to be careful ordering a 'submarine sandwich': they are only sometimes served with seamen.
TomP, Oct 24 2014


       sp. "by"
not_morrison_rm, Oct 25 2014


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