Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Skip Thong

How to achieve better beach workouts and home underwear exercise
  (+5, -3)
(+5, -3)
  [vote for,

Grab the skip thong’s strip of fabric between your thighs and pull downwards. The strip is really a long cord stored and elastically retracted in the waistband. Extend the cord until it forms a loop from the tummy to the ground to the small of the back and lock it in place with the Velcro butt brake.

Take a step to the right, bend at the knees, throw the loop over your head and keep the skip thong turning by moving the hips left, then up, then right and then down. Don’t forget to duck and hop. Jumping rope sideways trims the cardiovascular system, increases agility, tightens the bum and readies you for the skip thong contest in short skirts on the pub counter.

FarmerJohn, Oct 10 2004


       Nah, I think I'll skip on this thong. [+]
Letsbuildafort, Oct 10 2004

       I want to go to whatever pub you frequent, that has thong contests. +.
friendlyfire, Oct 10 2004

       The skip thong I get, but what is a Velcro Butt Brake?
wagster, Oct 10 2004

       Is it even possible to jump rump/skip sideways the regular way (hand-held rope)? I think you'd need a level of tummy/hip dexterity way beyond most people to swing a rope anchored at the midriff.   

       I'm gonna stick to belly-dancing for my workout routine.   

       But, if you can come up with an illustration of someone skipping with a thong, you'd probably get my croissant just for that.
DrCurry, Oct 10 2004

       When jumping rope, I often twist the axle of rotation to jump sideways a while. I would guess using only the hips would be on a level of difficulty similar to learning to use a hula hoop.
FarmerJohn, Oct 10 2004

       Okay, I'll buy that, but only if you can hula hoop while jumping up and down. (Never tried that either, and my knees are too wonky to risk a living room test.)
DrCurry, Oct 10 2004

       As an unintentional bonus, you can just wind the butt-floss out a few inches every time it gets dirty...
ye_river_xiv, Jul 19 2006

       I thought this was going to be uncomfortable underwear for men named "Skip".
Galbinus_Caeli, Jul 19 2006


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