Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Every year, worldwide, several hundred thousand people try to get out of one country and into another country without the necessary paperwork, by stowing away on, or in, lorries. Since most international cargo is carried in sealed containers, such people often cling to various brackets and sprockets under the bed of the lorry, in the space betwixt cab and container, on the roof, and so forth. This is not only uncomfortable and dangerous, but is also usually unsuccessful.

Illegal- border-crossing- on- truck-woes begone!! MaxCo. is pleased to announce the launch of its range of Smuggle- me-Snugly stowaway apparati.

The Smuggle-me-Snugly consists of a lightweight yet strong fibreglass box, finished in matt-black and rust effects, and with a liberal yet tasteful application of dust, road debris and meaningless stickers.

Simply open the Smuggle-me-Snugly, climb inside, and close the front. You will find conveniently placed holes for the arms, legs and neck of a conventionally arranged person.

Thus ensconced, you are free to walk, crouch or crawl to the nearest convenient parked lorry. Position yourself underneath the bed of the lorry and, on all fours, raise your back until the six powerful magnets lock you into place. Withdraw your arms, legs and head, and slide the covers into place over the holes.

Coccooned in the lavishly padded Smuggle-me-Snugly, you will appear to all but the most suspicious observer to be one of those inexplicable tanks which adorn the nether regions of lorries - perhaps you're a fuel tank, or perhaps some mysterious gas reservoir for the refrigeration system. If anyone approaches, simply remain calm and make a noise like freon.

Upon arriving at your destinition, simply release the catch and drop nimbly to the ground, leaving the Smuggle-me- Snugly behind. Alternatively, if you are planning onward travel, simply use the integral cams to prize your Smuggle- me-Snugly from the lorry.

The Deluxe model includes not only three internal cup- holders, but also has an extra lining of insulating foil to disguise your presence from thermal imaging devices at border crossings.

MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 16 2012

The prototype. http://tooplyshy.mu...ng.?replies_read=11
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jul 18 2012]


       //Hide-A-Me// I wish I'd thought of that.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 16 2012

       //simply remain calm and make a noise like freon.//   

       [m-f-t] seconded.
Alterother, Jul 16 2012

       Is that like having Hissy Fit ?
8th of 7, Jul 16 2012

       How do you know that those inexplicable boxes on trucks aren't containers for illegal immigrants? Maybe this is how they've been getting in all along!
DIYMatt, Jul 16 2012

       If that's the case, I've seen at least a few of them being drowned in diesel.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 16 2012

       My truck has a respectable number of inexplicable boxes and tanks tucked away in various spots. I've personally installed over half of them, and occasionally peeked into all of the others, and thus far none of them have ever shown indication of containing illegal immigrants. I consider this irrefutable proof that this is a completely original and unbaked concept, so [+].
Alterother, Jul 16 2012

       //none of them have ever shown indication of containing illegal immigrants.//   

       We respectfully rest our case.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 16 2012

       HARKEN No chance they could have stowed away? No one would blame you for that Captain. I know how these older model Fireflys tend to have those troublesome little nooks.   

       MAL Do they?   

       HARKEN Smugglers and the like tend to.
normzone, Jul 16 2012

       //none of them have ever shown indication of containing illegal immigrants.// // We respectfully rest our case //   

       If we may, M'Lud, we have a further question for the witness. Now, Mr. Alterother, you stated to the court that "none of them have ever shown indication of containing illegal immigrants." Would you please tell us if any of them have ever shown indication of having contained illegal immigrants at any time prior to your inspection?   

       <furtively flicks through pages of "Learn Yourself Law the Perry Mason Way" under desk, assumes air of quiet confidence>
8th of 7, Jul 16 2012

       No, sir, they have not shown such indications, and by extension it is therefore possible to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that no box, tank, or similar vessel of inobvious function installed on, in, or about the frame or chassis of any truck has ever contained one or more illegal immigrant(s) since, as is common knowledge, all trucks are inextricably linked by mechanical fraternity and therefore are, in essence, all the same truck.   

       At this point, I sadly must make plain my demand that MaxCo.'s Smuggle-me-Snugly and all derivative products remain halfbaked, because if I go out some morning and discover that aforementioned metaphysical link has caused the non-potable water tank on my truck to become stuffed with confused Cuban refugees, action of a litigational nature will be unavoidable.
Alterother, Jul 16 2012


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