Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Social Dominance Doll

You can't start too early
  (+5, -9)
(+5, -9)
  [vote for,

This doll has a pull cord connected to a voice box like ordinary dolls, but she has alot of different things to teach than the old dolls. A more expensive version has motors to compress the dolls face and eyes to generate appropriate training expressions that little girls can practice in the mirror with.

Here's some possible topics for the doll to teach: self centeredness, intimidation, looking better than others and letting them know about it, spreading false rumors, shunning, getting others to cover for you, indicating disapproval under duress, maintaining your social position, destroying newcomers, etc.

bens, Jun 21 2002


       There are hundreds of thousands of former children, myself included, who could actually have benefited from this toy... somehow it's got to remain out of the hands of the enemy- i.e. the schoolyard bully, et al.
polartomato, Jun 21 2002

       In other words, a talking Barbie?   

       bob, whomever is on top didn't fall there, and they'll have to defend themselves whether or not they still carry any sword.
RayfordSteele, Jun 21 2002

       Gee, now I know how Lisa Simpson must have felt trying to compete with Malibu Stacey.
bens, Jun 21 2002

       bens, tread carefully. We've had one of these dolls here at the halfbakery for a long time now, and we've been carefully studying the "destroying newcomers" lesson.
beauxeault, Jun 21 2002

       Girls actually need to be taught this stuff ? I'd always assumed it was hard-coded in the BIOS somewhere ....
8th of 7, Jun 21 2002

       Absolutely [8th of 7], none of my female friends and girlfriends came "hard-coded" with such a BIOS.
bens, Jun 24 2002

       Apparently there are Osborne family dolls being made (merchandise from the "At home with the..." series) which swear, but the words are bleeped out. are we about to have a generation of kids who say 'bleep' instead of cursing?
sappho, Jun 24 2002

       Bens: we can offer you an upgrade, quite cheaply really....
8th of 7, Jun 24 2002

       bens, is your use of the plural of girlfriend intentional? Alternatively, are you sure they're female?
sappho, Jun 24 2002

       we are talking past tense here.
po, Jun 24 2002

       I'm sensing a certain amount of bitterness in this idea.
calum, Jun 24 2002

       Couldn't we just have a unisexual "non-sissy" doll? Just a doll that teaches the submissive folk how to come up with snappy comebacks and otherwise evade the social trauma inflicted by tortuous peers? It could have a male/female switch for both tormentor and tormentee, so that a boy or girl could customize the doll for male or female styled torture infliction. Hmm... this is starting to sound like it could have other applications...
polartomato, Jun 24 2002

       Very funny idea and very true to life. The only thing you forgot in your description is that it's both little girls and little boys that carry on this behavior. Probably need a doll of each gender.
mattm, Aug 27 2002

       No Mephista? I would have thought that this would be ideal fodder...
madradish, Aug 28 2002


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