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Social kissing informational messages

  (+4, -1)
(+4, -1)
  [vote for,
against]

I think there's scope to make the social kiss - which I'm taking to be a kiss on both cheek - a useful means of communicating interesting information or something about yourself. This would be done by a short message written onto your temple in front of where your co-kisser's eyes should be. This message could be public information ("Kissing can spread germs"), useful facts ("Elephants have four knees"), things the other person might have forgotten ("My name's Mark"), or perhaps the first half of a beautiful haiku on one side and the other half on the other side.
hippo, Nov 08 2009

Elephant skeleton http://www.oxonart....95-0F99FFEC1F1E.jpg
An umbrella stand isn't just for Christmas .... [8th of 7, Nov 08 2009]

Elephant diagram http://www.talkorig...en/struct-fig2a.gif
Showing relation of musculature to skeleton [8th of 7, Nov 08 2009]

Elephants' elbows and knees are actually elbows and knees. http://www.biologyc...heets/elephant.html
So there. [MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 08 2009]

[link]






       // Elephants have four knees //   

       <Pedant>   

       Elephants cannot jump, because they lack true "knees".   

       The lower points of flexion in their fore and hind limbs correspond to the carpal and tarsal bones in primates. What humans refer to as "knees" and "elbows" are much higher up in the limb.   

       <link>   

       </Pedant>
8th of 7, Nov 08 2009
  

       Well, obviously, if the message on one side of your head was "Elephants have four knees" there'd be room for your explanation and caveats on the other side.
hippo, Nov 08 2009
  

       I see a differing in the tolerance of measurement of what constitutes the value of "useful" in the word "useful", here. How many times have you gained true utility from expressing the knee quotient of pachyderms?   

       Also, isn't the distance involved likely to require corrective focal apparatus? I suppose it could be preceded with a fresnel lens.   

       I also note (and trying hard not to be applying any value to this observation) that you don't even list the advertising potential at all, categorically.
Ian Tindale, Nov 08 2009
  

       fresnel lens sunburn --> apple cheeks --> Messages should probably be in, say, lime green for maximum legibility.
pertinax, Nov 08 2009
  

       Then they could say 'If you can read this, you're not red-green colour-blind'.
pertinax, Nov 08 2009
  

       What's half a Haiku?
Seventeen syllables does
Not divide by two.
csea, Nov 08 2009
  

       Shut up, [csea]. You're just trying to distract readers from the critical issue here, which is elephant knees. This idea may have some merit but it's not going anywhere unless the elephant's knees (or lack of them) problem is resolved first.   

       Yes, advertising potential, but who's going to want to have a toll free number for the Elephant's Knees information Helpline on the side of their face ? Would not a baseball cap be perhaps better for this ?
8th of 7, Nov 08 2009
  

       There is no such thing as elephant knee soup. It just does not exist.   

       el dueno
el dueno, Nov 08 2009
  

       Ang on a second. Looking at your first link, they look like proper knees (and elbows) to me. The bones below them look like tib+fib (rear) and radius+ulna (front), making those joints the exact counterpartments of human knees and elbows.   

       Hah! Found a labelled diagram that proves it (clink). They even have proper kneecaps (though not, of course, elbowcaps).   

       So there.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 08 2009
  

       Why would you want to kiss an elephant's knees anyway?
Ian Tindale, Nov 09 2009
  

       Most people don't know their elephant's arse from their elbows.
Ian Tindale, Nov 09 2009
  

       //elephant's arse// They only have one?
shudderprose, Nov 09 2009
  

       A shared arse. But that's okay, they've five knees, each.
Ian Tindale, Nov 09 2009
  

       Presumably, for a Glasgow Kiss, the tattooed message would read "Incoming!"

In any event, I'm going to fishbone this. Kissing on both cheeks is another of those foul, foreign habits that seem to have insinuated themselves, uninvited into our otherwise manly English culture. A stout handshake followed by a confident pronouncement about the number and nature of an elephant's knees should be quite sufficient for polite company.
DrBob, Nov 09 2009
  

       //where do they live? // They live in various parts of mainland Europe, in my experience. Not so much on the off-shore islands, where a head-butt is a more common greeting.
pertinax, Nov 09 2009
  

       I'm pretty sure the whole cheek kissing thing was invented by the french.   

       // a head-butt is a more common greeting. //   

       Only as a sign of affection between family members and very close friends.
8th of 7, Nov 09 2009
  

       ..but what if they close their eyes when bestowing the kisses?
xandram, Nov 09 2009
  

       So they won't see the elephant - or its knees (if any) after all ?   

       // the whole cheek kissing thing was invented by the french //   

       Close, in the sense that the french pioneered arse-licking. Having been buggered by the Germans on a number of occasions, it was a logical (and for them, not even particularly demeaning) progression.
8th of 7, Nov 09 2009
  

       Hmm, sounds like four-knee-cation.
csea, Nov 09 2009
  
      
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