Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Sock Donner

  [vote for,

Socks. Anecdotal evidence suggests that socks are a leading cause of death among old people. The pensioner gets up, one frail, liver-spotted morning, and, sitting on the egde of their foosty bed, leans forward to try to put their socks on and unbalanced, falls forward, fatally cracking their brittle skull on the threadworn carpet tiles, where they will lie, twisted and stiffening, until the milkman notices that there are nine pints on the doorstep.

Enter the Sock Donner. The sock donner comes with a 'clip' of socks, each rolled up like black cotton condoms. The user simply pushes his cold, bunioned toes into the sock and the pressure activates the machine, which rolls the socks comfortably onto the foot. Repeat as necessary.

The Sock Donner comes with a sock-rolling gadget, to make the home help's life easier when she is round on her weekly visit, loading the Sock Donner for you.

calum, Dec 05 2005

yea for having a machine http://www.dynamic-...ng.com/sock_aid.htm
this has no moving parts.. boring. [neilp, Dec 05 2005]

for [hidden truths] http://stooryduster.../pages02/foosty.htm
[calum, Dec 05 2005]

Donner sucks. http://www.justitie...sp?link=1&sublink=2
...horrible pun, sorry. Our minister of Justice is named Donner. [Trickytracks, Dec 05 2005]

Searchable RoSPA Accidents Statistics http://www.hassandl...lector.aspx?Reset=T
Shows sock accidents per year as follows
2000: 45,379
2001: 51,301
2002: 56,293

For over 75s
2000: 674
2001: 1,125
2002: 1,066 [calum, Aug 10 2006]


       Sock Shish, can I have chili sauce with that? keep me toes warm.
skinflaps, Dec 05 2005

       I'll have extra onions and no cucumber please...
po, Dec 05 2005

       Quite a few I've had in the past have certainly tasted like socks.
coprocephalous, Dec 05 2005

       Would the socks be lubricated?
salachair, Dec 05 2005

       Ah. I was hoping this has something to do with the Donner Party...
DrCurry, Dec 05 2005

       Beat me to it, DC. Thought it would be some sort of a sock-for-food program
theircompetitor, Dec 05 2005

       I read the name and was expecting either the Food or Fashion category. Very misleading.   

       Despite my somewhat lazy attempts I have been unable to find the meaning of the word "foosty". Could someone please explain it to me?
hidden truths, Dec 05 2005

       It's turning into two ideas.One on the left and one growing on the right.
skinflaps, Dec 05 2005

       I'm with [DrCurry].
normzone, Dec 05 2005

       hidden: it's either a dialect term for "mouldy" or a misspelling of "frosty."
DrCurry, Dec 05 2005

       Or "fusty"
coprocephalous, Dec 05 2005

       I thought it might be the Sock Donner Kebab - a large ball of socks, turning in front of a heat lamp - the stench of stale feet infiltrating every corner of the room, but I ask myself - "would anyone really want one of these?" +
xenzag, Dec 05 2005

       The real idea in here involved the comparison of the rolled up socks to condoms. The automated "Condom Donner"...
sleeka, Dec 05 2005

       Hit Dasher! Hit Dancer! Whack Prancer and Vixen!   

       Bash Comet! Bash Cupid! Sock Donner and Blitzen!   

       To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!   

       Now, dash away! dash away! dash away all!
ConsulFlaminicus, Dec 06 2005

       Quantity of idea misconceptions: nine, though some are duplicates. Any more?
calum, Dec 07 2005

       Nay, donner indeed.It's not even in the dictionary(not that I can find anyway)
skinflaps, Dec 07 2005

       One who tallies such devices - Donner Summer.
coprocephalous, Dec 07 2005

       This could have an alternate market as a ferret dresser.
Jinbish, Dec 07 2005

       [+], mostly for the anecdotal evidence.
sophocles, Dec 07 2005

       //This could have an alternate market as a ferret dresser.   

       Jinbish, Dec 07 2005 //   

       I read that anno just before leaving work last night, and as a consequence I spent much of yesterday evening imagining ferrets slithering into specially-designed leotards and legwarmers.
salachair, Dec 08 2005

       There will be a whole new class of abrasion injuries related to abusing this device as a sex toy.
jutta, Dec 08 2005

       Heheh. Actually, circular thinking leads me to realise that this idea could be sold to swimming pools, as a means to assist in the donning of verruca socks. I still like [Jinbish]'s alternative use best, though.
calum, Dec 08 2005

       A similar device would be handy for donning latex gloves... uh, you know, if you were the kind of person who goes through a lot of latex gloves... I mean we all have our hobbies, but...
FrostedFlake, Dec 08 2005

       On donner, on blister! Makes a wonderous christmas gift.   

       ...Someone said something like that already. Anyway excellent narrative in this one. A tragic comedy.
rcarty, Nov 16 2013


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