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Sperm on a Leash

Walk companion
  (+3, -9)(+3, -9)
(+3, -9)
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This is a single sperm superglued by the tail to a spiral leash. The leash starts off as thick as a tennis racket handle but gets thinner and thineer toward the center of the spiral, so that the sperm is free to wiggle around in the air as you walk it, but it will never hit another part of the leash or any passing baby or dog walkers.
JesusHChrist, Apr 30 2005

(?) close up pictures of single sperm http://www.isa.au.dk/SR/XRM/xrm_6.html
they look like they all have different personalities. I wonder if they have little faces. [JesusHChrist, Apr 30 2005]

bob's your uncle Spermwar
[zeno, May 01 2005]


       Is a sperm tail strong enough to support its weight in the air? Won't it dry out? Also, if you had this branch and ramify like a tree, at the end(s) you could have all of them, not just one.
bungston, May 01 2005

       And why not just have an atom on a stick? And for that matter, why not just have the furthest atom *of* a stick be the pet. Bah. [-]
contracts, May 01 2005

       For information on care and handling of your new seeing eye sperm email sperm@azoa.com   

bristolz, May 01 2005

       what if inseminates someone while you've got your back turned? I guess with the leash you could easily locate who it is.
benfrost, May 01 2005

       Ending up with baby on a leash.
FarmerJohn, May 01 2005

       The question I get asked a lot, well, enough that I should remark on it, is: Zeno, is it possible for a woman to get pregnant without intercourse?   

       And my answer is allways the same: I say listen,we have to go all the way back to the civil war. Appearantly a testicle of a union soldier got pierced by a stray bullet which then launched its self into the ovaries of a young woman who was actually a hundred feet away from him at the time, standing on a hillside. Well the baby was fine, she was very happy.   

       Come to think of it, it's actually a form of intercourse, but uhm, not for everyone.
zeno, May 01 2005

       it is Zeno. . .
Just don't talk about it. . .
Susan, May 01 2005

       [zeno] they exploded that particular tall tail on Myth Busters the other night. No biological material could be seen through a microscope when they cut and scraped the ballistic dummy's wound, but it is supposed to be where the expression *son of a gun* came from.   

       [II fries], I see the point, but I'd want more research before I wrote off such an interesting tale.   

       Musket ball temperature, period gunpowder chemistry detail, etc.
normzone, May 02 2005

       I'd want at least three-fold more before I believed it.
bristolz, May 02 2005

       I can't seem to find a transcript or synopsis for that episode but, from memory, they had a marksman with an authentic civil war rifle, fire through bags of sperm into a gel manikin from different distances.
Even at close range, none of the sperm or any biological (biologic?) matter could be seen.

       <off topic> Mind you, there have been a few busted myths that I think could use a bit more bustin before being considered bust.
Like the Greek army, polished shield parabolic mirror, ignite a boat from shore episode.
They had a bunch of people stand holding mirrors on the beach and try to reflect enough sunlight to start floating timbers on fire.
First off, there wasn't a parabola to be seen, so any sunlight hitting the *boat* was un-focused.
Secondly, I think that any civilization capable of building the Parthenon was probably smart enough to rig up some form of scaffolding with shield adjusting compartments to at least steady the reflections.
Thirdly, I probably couldn’t light a wet timber with a Zippo if I had all day, so wouldn’t it make more sense to melt the pitch between the timbers until an oily puddle formed around the boat and then ignite that? I mean come on!
<end of topical off-ness>


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