Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Square Meal Farm Animals

Animals Modified to Contain Vegetables and Sweet Things
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(+16, -10)
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I am following on largely from "Halfbakery Food 1-3".

We shall genetically engineer animals such as cows to contain lumps of potato, and scattered peas embedded in various chunky muscles, and to have another part to their bodies - such as a hump - containing pudding ingredients, like rhubarb, and perhaps custard. Or prunes, or Angel Delight, or even Jacob's Orange Clubs.

Abattoir processes shall revolve around the meal table. And udders could make beer or pop etc. And hair follicles shall sprinkle icing sugar, for instance. And bladders might have soup.

No more costly arable crops or chemical synthesis of puddings; let the cow do the work and take the credit, for example.

A one ton cow could quite likely feed about thirty people three courses, drinks and - if we're quite clever - wafer thin after-dinner mints.

eehen, Jul 12 2000

Scientists cross pigs with spinach http://news.bbc.co....1780000/1780541.stm
At last my halfbakedness begins to crisp! Oh the delight as pigs bear spinach in their loins! [eehen, Jan 25 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       It would be much easier to genetically manipulate plants to produce meaty bits- like a potato with chunks of beef in it or built-in butter pats. Or a carrot with a bacon skin. Would appeal to those of us who dislike the abbatoir/killing animals thing altogether. There are plants already in existence with animal DNA in them, and they're in stores and being eaten in the US...why not make green beans that taste like fried chicken? Or shiitakes that make a savory venison gravy...
naveline, Jul 12 2000

       Poor old cows seem to get a lot of stick on this website. Why not pick on something else, like a sheep for a change?
Lemon, Jul 12 2000

       It's indeed quite right what you say.   

       Now that the Humane Gnome Project is completed, there's not much reason against a massive, massive corn-on-the-cob, which - instead of corn - is made of a big-dirty fry-up: Smokey Bacon, Black Pudding, 2xFried Slice, Heinz Baked Beans, Plumstead Tomatoes, Pork Walls of Sausage, Fried Egg, Mushrooms and Spirit Level.   

       Just think of Nebraska these days!   

       (and not a cow insight)
eehen, Jul 12 2000

       Yuck! You're eating a cheeseburger and all of a sudden, you come across a colony of peas! Disgusting.
verobay, Jul 13 2000

       And them GE peas protest loudly about being munched too!
jetckalz, Jul 13 2000

       It's bad enough that we kill animals for meat, but for vegetables? That's just too much.
HotBlackDesoto, Jul 14 2000

       Everything kills to eat...most plants don't kill directly, but they still live on death.
StarChaser, Jul 14 2000

       Photosynthesis can turn water and carbon dioxide and a few minerals and sunlight into oxygen and biomass. No death required.   

       It had to start somewhere, after all.
egnor, Jul 14 2000

       There are far worse things than killing animals in order to eat them.   

       [egnor]: No death required? What about the eventual death of the plant?   

       Anybody ever wonder how many budding lifeforms might have been wiped out in the supernovae that created the elements for our solar system?
centauri, Jul 14 2000

       Venus flytraps? Pitcher plants?   

       Where does fertilizer come from? DEAD leaves, DEAD plants, DEAD animals, post-consumer food that was killed by the consumer.   

       Everything lives on death. Something has to die so that something else can live. Soil is not sand; plants can't live in sand on their own.
StarChaser, Jul 15 2000

       Many plants benefit from other dead, and yes, plants die, but that's not "living on death".   

       I just wanted to point out that not *all* plants in all circumstances require something else to have died first. Lichen can colonize a bare rock.   

       And I thought fertilizer was mostly synthetic these days...
egnor, Jul 15 2000

       Now that we're so fly with the genetic tinkery, couldn't we create dead farm animals that grow live meat? Then we don't have to kill them - they're already dead - we just harvest the flesh regularly. You could even keep a dead specimen in your fridge. Mince on tap. Or maybe it could operate more like a vending machine - we could engineer sheep that have coin slots - and hey presto!, fresh sweetbread whenever you need it.
kimble, Jul 15 2000

       I have heard of ideas to grow brainless livestock that are fed through tubes until "harvested." I can't remember what the objection to this was apart it being damned creepy.
centauri, Jul 15 2000

       I didn't necessarily mean brainless. That would be awful. We still want them to be happy, for the sake of the meat quality and the colour of the egg yolks, etc. We just tamper with the gene that gives them a soul.
kimble, Jul 15 2000

       And we could genetically engineer the embedded vegetables to generate electricity - much like stingray things and killer thunderstorms already do, but in a quality way, such that the peas and potato-chunks etc. growing within cows' etc.'s muscles would give said animals a nice warm glow, or alternatively sexual frisson.   

       That way ensuring happiness lies.
eehen, Jul 24 2000

       ...brainless livestock that are fed through tubes until "harvested." ...Doesn't sound creepy, sounds rather like our government....
Alcin, Sep 19 2000

       Is that what was with all those brainless babies born down in Texas? More tractable agricultural labor?
Scott_D, Sep 19 2000

       We're in Hitch-Hikers' Guide territory again here. Anyone remember the cow-like thing that actually WANTED to be eaten?
IanBennett, Apr 20 2001

       I never cease to be amazed by the wonders of genetic engineering.
Jezzie, Jul 10 2003

       you do realize that this idea of animal/plant comonation was on a dilbert episode where he created the tomeato and created pandimonium?
killer3, Aug 29 2003


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