Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Free set of rusty screwdrivers if you order now.

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Steam locomotive stove

Aesthetically pleasing
  [vote for,

Most solid fuel stoves are a rather uninspired box shape.

The BorgCo version looks like the firebox end of a steam locomotive, complete with gauge glasses, test-cocks, injectors, steam/vacuum brake, reverser, and a regulator handle (which works the flue damper).

Versions can be supplied with water-heating pipework integrated into the firebox. Installation and maintenance of suitable Ramsbottom safety valves are the purchaser's responsibility and no liability can be accepted for any loss, damage or destruction of property by massive uncontained steam explosion, howsoever caused.

Sizes range from Ffestiniog 0-4-0 saddle tank (suitable for small rooms) through Stanier 4-6-0 5MT (for large rooms) up to Gresley A4 4-6-2 "Pacific" (suitable for large barns, aircraft hangers, and mainline railway stations).

Stoker not included. Special clean coal shovel suitable for cooking The Best Egg And Bacon In The World available by special order. Third party espresso nozzles are available but the manufacturer does not recommend their use and is not liable for any consequential injury or death.

8th of 7, Nov 13 2019

“Steam Locomotive” Wood Burning Stove https://www.farmsho...ticle.php?aid=30851
[scad mientist, Nov 13 2019]

"4472" https://s3-eu-west-.../main/44/123087.jpg
Behold, the Beast ... [8th of 7, Nov 13 2019]

Wood_20Burning_20Mallard [xenzag, Nov 13 2019]

Sir Thomas Bouch https://en.wikipedi...g/wiki/Thomas_Bouch
"A smile, a song, and a cast-iron railway bridge design with a single-point failure mode that killed nearly eighty people ... " [8th of 7, Nov 13 2019]


       Very good, [scad], but we prefer <link>
8th of 7, Nov 13 2019

       [8th], Isn’t that The Flying Scotsman?
Frankx, Nov 13 2019

       Frying Scotsman, presumably.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 13 2019

       One that looks like the Mallard would be my choice, of course. [see link] - laughs
xenzag, Nov 13 2019

       Hmm. It does seem that [8th]'s emption has been pre- empted.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 13 2019

       I'm happy to munch away on his croissants. They just need some jam to make them extra tasty.
xenzag, Nov 13 2019

       The croissants look quite well toasted - must be a Mallard Reaction.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 13 2019

       To be fair, he's only proposing the interior of the locomotive's firebox area, and not a model of the entire engine, though I'm still eating his croissants. yummmmy
xenzag, Nov 13 2019

       We acknowledge a certain amount of prior art, however this is different. It's a coal-burner, it's a replica of the back of the boiler (including firebox), and it's available as more than one design variant of locomotive.   

       Oh, and the Frying Scotsman is a real fish and chip shop ...
8th of 7, Nov 13 2019

       Your humble grovelling is accepted. A simple act of contrition will act as confirmation eg a video of a convincing imitation of a pigeon pecking up scraps on a busy thoroughfare. This is where you need to use your dormant imagination.
xenzag, Nov 13 2019

       No problem; name the time, the place and the busy thoroughfare and we'll set up the video kit and make a movie of you being run down by our smoke-belching coal-burning steamroller. What sort of scraps do you prefer ? We only have GM ones ...
8th of 7, Nov 13 2019

       My grandfather was a steam locomotive engineer back in the day. Diesels later. Dad and my uncle became what they called "Engineers, but not the fun kind." which I thought was inspired at least in part by their dad.   

       Uncle Pete was head engineer on the Golden Gate Bridge for many years. His job was to make sure it didn't collapse. Guess he did his job. He gave my dad an old rivet from when they were being replaced. Still keeps in on his mantle.
doctorremulac3, Nov 13 2019

       "... so to summarize, Mr. President, the catastrophic collapse was initiated because at some point in the past a single, absolutely critical rivet was removed from the structure, but by an oversight was not replaced. All the deaths and destruction and loss and tragedy can be clearly traced back to that one missing rivet ..."
8th of 7, Nov 13 2019

       "I was told to take any rivet except that one but to be honest, I was rebellious and didn't like being told what to do. I now realize my mistake and wish to return the rivet and suggest it be used to help build the new bridge. No, don't thank me, it's the least I can do."
doctorremulac3, Nov 13 2019

       ... oh, and can I have a last cigarette before you tie the blindfold on ? Where do I stand ? By the post, yes, right."
8th of 7, Nov 13 2019

       "... hey wait, on second thought. Damn it! I'm gonna quit smoking! Got any gum?" (Firing squad holds up their rifles.) "I said GUM! GUM! THANKS! Jeez, what a bunch of morons."
doctorremulac3, Nov 13 2019

       By the way, prosecuting crimes has been outlawed in San Francisco so this could never happen.   

       That sounds like in improperly worded sentence but it's not.
doctorremulac3, Nov 13 2019

       //All the deaths and destruction and loss and tragedy can be clearly traced back to that one missing rivet // but also to the engineer who designed a bridge with a single-point failure mode.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 13 2019

       Ah yes, Sir Thomas Bouch, the doyenne of the "house of cards" school of civil engineering ...   

8th of 7, Nov 13 2019

       By the way, they named a small bridge after him when he passed away a few years ago. has a plaque, a name and everything.   

       Pretty cool.
doctorremulac3, Nov 13 2019

       // has a plaque, a name and everything. //   

       Before crossing said bridge, cool though it may be, we would insist on comparing the "design" and "as built" drawings and checking that the full complement of rivets were present and correct.
8th of 7, Nov 13 2019

       //they named a small bridge after him when he passed away// They called a bridge "Uncle Pete"? That is so cool! In fact, even if they called it "The Peter J. Remulac Memorial Small Bridge", that's quite cool.   

       My cousin had a cruise ship named after him. Well, he was named "Giles" in 1952 and the RMS Carinthia was named in 1955, so it was quite a while after.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 13 2019

       (tell them you get it) I get it. (phew)
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2019

       Wouldn't it be engineering excellence if the point failure mode origin was the top right rivet of the naming plaque?
wjt, Nov 15 2019

       No, it would be the most exquisite irony imaginable (unless the rivet was an austenitic alloy, in which case it would be steely).
8th of 7, Nov 15 2019


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