h a l f b a k e r y
Clearly this is a metaphor for something.
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For some reason I have the tv tuned to the news channel
when I'm getting ready to start my day in the morning. I
guess I'm just
used to having the pleasant drone of sex scandals and
disaster stories in the background when I get dressed.
However, when a story or scandal gets too repetitive
can get pretty annoying. I understand that sometimes
celebrities have sex, and of course I'm as shocked and
as anybody, but can I take a break from the scandal du
jour for a
The idea is for a button on your remote, possibly labeled
that you push when a news story you don't want to hear
about any more comes up. The tv would then
switch channels whenever this particular story popped up
again. Additionally, you could program in trigger words
and sentences like "Kardashian", "Sex scandal", "...raised
few eyebrows when..."
It's not that I want to shirk my civic duty to keep
of who or what's in Kim Kardashian cooch this week, I'm
just saying I wouldn't mind taking a break now and then.
HONEY! WAKE THE KIDS, CALL THE NEIGHBORS!
[doctorremulac3, Jul 02 2011]
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||I never bother with these types of stories. This is why I listen to NPR.
||That's fine, but not good for getting waken up in the
morning with all the loud fanfare and stories like
"Are cannibalistic satanic rituals the hot new fad
among teens? You parents will want to stay tuned
for the story you can't afford to ignore."
||It also has a tivo-like gadget to edit out the ad's.
||As far as actually sitting down and watching tv, for
Mythbusters, South Park, the History Channel and
Science Channel. I'm guessing about five bucks a
month worth of watching despite the bill being
about $250 for the cable/internet package. If it
weren't for those tv shows I'd be one
those annoying people who proudly proclaim (with
their eyes closed and eyebrows arched) "Uhh we
don't have a tv in the
house." To which I always say "I've got one in every
room." Just to kill the conversation so we can all
our separate ways.
||Bayesian spam detection for TV. [+] for //possibly
||I'm sure there would be a way, to introduce a small delay into the program, pool it as data, run voice recognition over it and convert haram phrases to something less tedious, then run that through the tv.
||It'd save switching channels and for example converting David Cameron into someone who just says "F**k the poor" repeatedly in a Geordie accent...and the Cillit Bang guy would just say "I smell of poo".
||Alternatively, this has already happened and when George W was saying "my fellow Armenians...." it just got corrected out..
||Not sure what percentage of programs have closed
captioning but I think most news programs do.
You could tap into that with your word search.
||Alternatively, you could have the news programs
themselves assign codes to their stories. They
could then tally the amount of times a particular
story's smote by an audience and stop running it if
||You could also have something like a bun
button when you want to hear more about a
particular story. Interactive rating of shows by
really big now. Netflix always asks you to rate a
show or movie after you've watched it.
||So maybe the idea should be "Bun/Bone Button
For Your Remote"
||Watch this idea backfire on me when in a year or
two I put on CNN and hear "Welcome to
Kardashian 24 Hour News, all Kim Kardashian, all
the time. You viewers wanted it and we give it to
||In that cases there's always the off button.
||//stop running it if nobody's interested// It
would be lovely if the newsreader stopped in mid-
sentence when the real-time Nielson's dropped
below a threshold. Perhaps adding "Oh, to H*ll with
||And show an audience interest meter running in
time behind him. Perhaps attached to some kind
of mild electric shock device attached to his
chair. The more audience apathy, the bigger the
||Make the guy improvise to make it more
||"Economic indices for the fourth fiscal quarter
were...AHHHHH! UH, WHERE IN NO WAY EFFECTING
KIM KARDASHIANS BREASTS! Uh. The ample shapely
breasts of the talentless trollop were not sagging
like the... stock market AHHH! BUTT IN TIGHT
JEANS!!!... LIKE SHE BOUGHT AT THE MARKET...
the clothes market not the... one with the
like... where... uhhh... (turns to look at the falling
interest meter) KIM KARDASHIAN... might buy
stocks... she might buy stocks with money she...
earned... AAAAAHHH! POSING IN PLAYBOY! POSING
NUDE IN PLAYBOY!"