Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Sun Crematorium

Incinerate dead bodies with sunpower
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If you know how long it takes to incinerate a dead person and have seen how much bone material etc. is left after the cremation and how much energy that goes into the process, then you realize that there have to be a better way, and that is the sun crematorium. It is made up by a big parabolic mirror to catch the sun, a pyrex glass cage with a slate by the most meltproof materials, such as tental carbide that melts at temperatures of + 4000 degrees C (approx. 7200 degrees F) and a solarcell panel that produces electricity to split oxygen and hydrogen in water to fuel the hearses with hydrogen. The oxygen is feeded to the glasscage and the concentrated sunlight reflected from the parabolic mirror will incinerate the dead body at a temperature that far exeeds what can be reached in a furnace or even in an acetylen cutting torch. The added oxygen insures a very clean and complete burn. Materials that otherwise are incombustable will burn very well in an atmosphere of pure oxygen. No need to remove artificial hips, pacemakers etc. It is undigified and unnecessesary and it will burn up anyway. There will be very little ash left and due to the very complete and clean burn, such a crematorium could easily be fitted into a residential area without any discomfort to the neighbours. The cremation process itself would go very fast, provided there is a clear sky, estimated 15- 30 mins. That way the departed can be present at an open casket funeral in the church and afterwards funeral party can wait at the crematorium after the service and then follow the dearly departed to the graveyard.
BellyUp, May 26 2002

Solar Solace http://news.bbc.co....1828000/1828385.stm
Wondering if a solar solution would have avoided this scandal, purportedly caused because the operator's equipment was broken and he didn't want to pay the gas bill. [jurist, May 27 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       there is a section called business: cemetery you know. thats the one!
po, May 26 2002
  

       To make a long story short: Build a space ship and fly the bodies onto the Sun.
Bixbyte, May 26 2002
  

       I like the part where [BellyUp] sez "such a crematorium could easily be fitted into a residential area". Like the mirrors would blend in with the scenery. Actually, I guess they would. Heh.
phoenix, May 26 2002
  

       Bixbyte: if you're going to do that, you might as well put the body under the rocket rather than in it. It'd be cheaper.
bookworm, May 26 2002
  

       Or shove 'em under the launch pad, for that matter..
yamahito, May 26 2002
  

       please show a little respect for the decreased.
po, May 26 2002
  

       Sorry, my bad. My PR department has issued this rephrasal:   

       "It is [yamahito]'s considered opinion that, rather than adding to expensive spacelaunch costs, a more efficient method would be to install a dignified recepticle situated underneath the majestic curves of NASAs thrusters. This way our dearly missed ancestors can leave their bodies and their life with a definite connection to the next stage of human exploration; for what else is exploration but an expression of vitality? The extension of life into lifeless space is a beautiful, living metaphor of our hope that the recently deceased are our proud explorers into the next world"   

       How's that? Better?
yamahito, May 26 2002
  

       I said - decreased
po, May 26 2002
  

       [po]: oh. doh.
yamahito, May 26 2002
  

       What I'm not getting, is whether the Sun Crematorium is designed to be a piece of rolling stock. Do you mean that the service is offered in any neighborhood, is delivered on a converted semi-trailer, and is parked and unfolded just outside where a body is viewed?
reensure, May 26 2002
  

       Wow...and here I thought that the Sun Crematorium was in fact the Sun Creamatoriam where one can choose from a wide variety of sun creams.
grackle, May 26 2002
  

       My original premise is better. Charge a couple million $ per Cremation. You can't take it with You. Launch the Deceased in a rocket and land the body on the Sun. Important people would pay in advance. And, hire athletes to advertise.
Bixbyte, May 27 2002
  

       Part Baked (or should that be part-burned?). I read in the Fortean Times a few months back (can't remember the precise issue) of teh Parsis ( a sect of zoarostrianism in india) who leave their dead in a compound full of turkey vultures to be consumed. To make them more palatable to the vultures, the bodies are first "cooked" with the suns rays, reflected from large concave mirrors.
dare99, May 28 2002
  

       Biltong anyone?
stupop, May 28 2002
  

       Ahh, beaten by UB. I'm sure it's because Australia is 48 hours ahead of the UK!
dare99, May 28 2002
  

       only 48 hours? I thought it was at least a week.
po, May 28 2002
  

       Croissant.   

       Sorry I'm not with it. Give me time to think of something coherant to write.
NickTheGreat, May 28 2002
  
      
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