Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Superhero Suit incorporating Protective Mask

  [vote for,

Having spotted yet another market opportunity based on exploiting the anxieties of an group of credulous, easily-panicked and underinformed morons (i.e most of the population) BorgCo are rushing a new product into volume production without proper safety testing, or indeed any real testing at all (other than saying "Bugger it, seems to work, it'll do"*)

We are now offering for public sale authentic licensed Superhero costumes, specially adapted for the circumstances of a virus pandemic - in that all the costumes include a face-covering mask, which incorporates an effective** replaceable*** air filter to guard the wearer from airborne nasties, and gloves impregnated with an effective disinfectant.

So if you're unhappy with the nervous sidelong glances of your cow-orkers, or the other travelers on the bus because you're wearing a surgical face mask, you can be free of embarrassment simply by donning your "costume" - Darth Vader, Stormtrooper, Spiderman, Deadpool - and perhaps even gaining a bit of respect from some younger people.

Batman, of course, isn't available, or Judge Dredd, as their costumes leave the lower portion of their face exposed.

For the seriously paranoid, a fully enclosed "Dalek" vehicle with positive-pressure sealed environment is available. Be sure to check for wheelchair accessibility in areas of intended use prior to arrival.

*It worked OK last time.

** for a given value of "effective"

*** You will be surprised at how expensive the refills are. It's a bit like the pricing strategy for inkjet printers.

8th of 7, Mar 04 2020

Decroative (sic) protective mask Decroative_20protective_20mask#1335966787
Priot Art (and bad spelling) acknowledged [8th of 7, Mar 04 2020]

NO CAPES! https://youtube.com/watch?v=2OvwPTmrUsA
[Chairborne Hero, Mar 05 2020]

toilet paper - the wisdom of crowds at its finest https://www.abc.net...ilet-paper/12024738
It seems the "easily-panicked and underinformed morons" are less rational than this idea assumes, being unsure as to which end of them they need to protect. [pertinax, Mar 06 2020]


       Full face protection, okay.   

       But... NO CAPES!
Chairborne Hero, Mar 05 2020

       You don't have to have pancakes if you don't want any.
8th of 7, Mar 05 2020

       // capes ... pancakes //   

       Jotting "minecraft" into 8th's dossier.
Chairborne Hero, Mar 05 2020

       <Moves [CH]'s name a little higher up the List Of Clever Ones That Need To Be Watched/>
8th of 7, Mar 05 2020

       "I've got a little list..."
Chairborne Hero, Mar 05 2020

       We have many lists, of varying lengths.   

       One in particular is very little; it only has [xenzag]'s name on it....
8th of 7, Mar 05 2020

       ... you know who! The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.   

       But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list.   

       For they'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!
Chairborne Hero, Mar 06 2020

       But what about the toilet paper? (See link).
pertinax, Mar 06 2020


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