Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Surprise, Surprise!

For people who don't like pills.
  (+6, -2)
(+6, -2)
  [vote for,

I happen to know a few people who can't take pills for the life of them, my sister, who frequently gets tonsilitis, says that she's always worried that she'd choke on them, so why not have the surprise pill agency?

You call them up, hand over your medicine to them, tell them how many times a day you need it, and they'll do the rest. They will follow you into resturants and put it in your coffee (no questions will be asked if the person delivering the drug shows a dinky little badge to the staff, the card promises the person is not a crazed poisoner, but an employee of a perfectly ethical company who is NOT an assassin), they will always be coming up with cleverer and cleverer ways, like putting bits of the pill in a pack of polos, or dissolved in a cup of water that you left beside your desk while you went to lunch.

This company is dedicated entirely to the delivery of medicine in the form of pills, not any other ones (please, no revolting jokes about 'what if somebody had (insert horrible disease) and needed a cream put (somewhere censored).)

I think this might be baked somewhere round here, so please warn me if it is, my nets' been on the blink.

froglet, Mar 04 2005


       Or achieve the same effect without the surprise but with a mortar and pestle. If you can't swallow pills, grind them up and put them in your coffee (or ice cream or whatever).
DrCurry, Mar 05 2005

       "Or achieve the same effect without the surprise but with a mortar and pestle. If you can't swallow pills, grind them up and put them in your coffee"   

       Many medications will have a very different [read as: "detrimental/dangerous"] effect when crushed or broken. Never crush or break a pill without consulting a P.D.R. or your pharmacist.
Klaatu, Mar 05 2005

       I have to bun the un-usefulness of it.   

       As [Klaatu] says, many pills - expecially those for ailments of the digestive system - are designed to avoid breaking up until they reach the necessary part of the plumbing. Crushing them would render them useless or even dangerous.
Detly, Mar 05 2005

       The black ninja swat team professionals storm in, grab you by the throat and force down your medicine. I had these vivid images untill you brought up the put it in your coffee bit. +
zeno, Mar 05 2005

       Ninjas. The members of the halfbakery seem to have some weird love of them, which is kinda understandable. But they are very cool, so I think I won't ask for now.
froglet, Mar 05 2005

       Loving ninjas I understand. Loving Custard... absurd.
Pericles, Mar 05 2005

       I think a better solution to this problem is instruction and therapy for the pill-phobic.
waugsqueke, Mar 05 2005

       Therapy? "you have chronic pill phobia, now you must pay me for therapy." Splash up 500 pounds/dollars to get over it? Nuh-uh!
froglet, Mar 05 2005

       Makes more sense than "now you must pay me to sneak around hiding pills in things you eat".
waugsqueke, Mar 05 2005

       Exactly [waug]
froglet, Mar 05 2005

       Pill phobia happens more frequently than we might think. Psychiatrists treat their patients through hypnosis, to find the repressed "traumatic" memory that triggered it.
Pericles, Mar 06 2005

       Like that time an antibiotic tablet stabbed my father?
Detly, Mar 07 2005

       ...or the time that I was standing in the midle of Trafalgar Square when someone threw some breadcrumbs down and all these amoxyllin tablets started flocking around me flapping their..erm..casings?
gnomethang, Mar 07 2005

       ... Or the time I was in a resturant and some weirdo shoved a pill down my throat!
froglet, Mar 07 2005

       I'm thinking there might be an application here for a pill blow-gun, where the wiley pill-sassin stalks the prescriptee, waiting for a yawn, and air pressure does the rest.
Soterios, Mar 07 2005

       Many pills today are time release and, I assume, the mechanism for that time release is mechanical via casings, structures and coatings designed to dissolve and release at a given rate. Grinding such pills is a bad idea depending on the medication and making multiple small pills from a larger one may not work either for essentially the same reason: it would subvert the time release and cause a very large dose upfront.   

       Hmm. Well, maybe one way to get around the time release problem with the "six small pills instead of one big one" method is to have specific sets of 6 pills that could be taken together but each pill having a different rate of dissolve. The time release would happen across all six pills.
bristolz, Mar 07 2005

       Reading the title to this idea I pictured a clown popping out of my garbage can screaming bloody murder, and then throwing a pill down my throat as I stood there slack jawed.
brodie, Mar 07 2005

       [bristolz] or you could just have all 6 pills dissolve at the same rate for the specified amount of time. 1 big pill dissolving in six hours should be the same as 6 little pills each dissolving in six hours.
brodie, Mar 07 2005

       May I suggest surprise injections?
RBStimers, Mar 08 2005

       Just think of your elderly ol' mom there ... chewing your food for you and feeding you her spit, like a baby bird.   

       Okay, now try the pills.
reensure, Mar 08 2005

       [RBStimers] Surprise injections has already been put here somewhere, can't remember where, though.
froglet, Mar 08 2005

       Wow. This sounds like a good idea but I am far, far too paranoid to agree to it. I must be much less phobic about pills than I am about people slipping powders furtively into my drinks.
Etymon, Mar 08 2005

       <paranoid moment>'Paranoid? Me? WHICH OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THAT???!!!!'</paranoid moment>
froglet, Mar 08 2005


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