Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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TP Tobler

Use every sheet of TP and save trees
  (+8, -1)
(+8, -1)
  [vote for,

You know how you tear off 3-4 squares of TP, fold into a wad, wipe, fold some more (repeat) and then discard? The effect is that only the two outermost sheets get soiled, thereby wasting more than 30-50% of the sheets you had obtained from the roll in the first place. The usable area keeps getting smaller due to the folding. The rest of the wad is effectively used for 'padding' your TP wad for comfort.

Now, imagine TP not sold in rolls, but rather wedges (think toblerone) with a tapering tip. These pleasantly scented wedges would be replaceable, soft-cored, and sold with varying angles to accommodate diverse crack-ergonomics and (ahem) personal tastes. You buy the starter pack (base + first pack of TP) and refill TP packs. Creative shapes (like the browser web 'finger', or the sharp creased paper models for example) could also be incorporated.

The idea is that the TP sheets are stacked on the apex of this core with a row of tabs for easy removal. Upon use, the wedge is drawn across the faecally soiled nethers, thereby soiling only the topmost sheet. This sheet is removed, and discarded, thereby exposing a fresh sheet. Repeat until hygenically acceptable levels are attained.

Pros: Usage efficiency is greatly improved as all the sheets are used exactly once. The shape of the wedge encourages a civilized 'sliding wipe' action rather than the crude but tempting 'finger dig' method. Comfort is also a plus as you effectively have the stack of TP, not 3-4 sheets as your 'support', and even the last sheet is buffered by the soft reusable base. Hygiene is improved, as your fingers hold the core, not the TP. So stinky finger is thoroughly avoided, leaving the hassle of washing up afterwards moot. Even if the topmost sheet is perforated, you only need to discard as many layers as were damaged and poof! new sheet.

NOTE: Sheets may also be removed from the top of the wedge for more traditional uses (e.g. wiping the seat, you insensitive clod!).

Dog, Nov 18 2005

Image http://www.geocitie...lcllam/TPTobler.JPG
[Dog, Nov 24 2005]


       Thanks [Dog]. I laughed in all these places....   

       "wedges (think toblerone) "   

       "and sold with varying angles to accommodate diverse crack-ergonomics "   

       "Creative shapes (like the browser web 'finger'"   

       "the wedge is drawn across the faecally soiled nethers"   

       "a civilized 'sliding wipe' action rather than the crude but tempting 'finger dig' method."   

       But then I do like toilet humor....   

       Wipping with a "Toblerone" sounds painful. I can't quite imagine the device...But I bunned it for humor..
Minimal, Nov 18 2005

       Thanks for the bun [Minimal]. Hm... depends on how you look at it. I thought the break-off 'ribs' would help to hold the TP sheets in place during use. Depending on your bowel contents, a great degree of shearing/ adhesive property may be imparted on the topmost sheet during the (s)wipe.   

       Of course, unlike a chocolate tobler, nothing is really broken off in my design. The core is only the form on which the refill stack of TP is placed. Then again, it all depends on which edge of the tobler you use.
Dog, Nov 21 2005

       Scratches ... looks at illustration ... lightbulb flickers up. Oh! That'll work.
reensure, Nov 24 2005

       really? you got better eyesight & that finger is worrying
po, Nov 24 2005

       [Murdoch] Barring a sneeze induced mis-swipe, I'd expect the soliage to only happen on the apex of the sliding surface. The tabs are convieniently located along the lower edge of the tobler.   

       I doubt it'll work with doggie hinies. They lack the aesthetically pleasant (in certain cases) crevical anatomy of the human variety.   

       [po] The idea is for there to be a variety of shapes to accommodate your needs. If the finger looks intimidating, there's always the tennis ball version.
Dog, Nov 28 2005

bristolz, Nov 28 2005

       I love the elegant and refined typeface used on your arse-wiper diagram.
wagster, Nov 28 2005

       Well of course [wags], this is intended to be an elegant and refined upgrade to an otherwise unsanitary (yet strangely satisfying) daily chore.
Dog, Nov 29 2005


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