Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Tantrum-Proof Supermarket

to prevent or reduce incidences of tantrums
  (+14, -2)(+14, -2)
(+14, -2)
  [vote for,

Most parents who have ever taken young children shopping will be aware of the all-too-common situation in which your child recognises the brash packaging of whatever brand of food has been advertised most recently, and absolutely most have it at all costs.

If you refuse due to concerns about the content of the food, all but the most well-behaved children will attempt to blackmail you into buying it by publicly embarrasing you in a loud tantrum. If you hold your ground you are inevitably subjected to angry glances from passers-by.

This supermarket attacks the source of the problem. The same products are available as at a regular supermarket (because occasionally you might wish to purchase something that your child has been programmed to want), but everything is packaged in identical bland packaging. The names and details are still listed, but there are no bright colours or cartoon figures to elicit a Pavlovian tantrum.

Thus your child passes through the supermarket never once triggering a tantrum, and you can buy what you want without aspersions being cast on your parenting.

At the very least the kids'll learn how to read.

dbmag9, Jul 06 2008

How to nip a tantrum in the bud http://www.youtube....watch?v=YxXIhM9nd2o
Funny advert [imaginality, Jul 06 2008]

For those who glance angrily or cast aspersions _22On_20Our_20Way_2..._20Inconvenience_22
[phundug, Jul 06 2008]

Jack? Jack?!?!?! http://www.random-g...st-dharma-products/
I want a bucket of ranch. [Giblet, Jul 07 2008]


       1. Lock child(ren) in cellar or cupboard under stairs.   

       2. Go shopping.   

       3. Return home, unpack shopping.   

       4. (optional) release child(ren).
8th of 7, Jul 06 2008

       A more socially acceptable method but one that may be far more cruel in the long run would be to drop them off at the grandparents / dysfunctional relatives house for the afternoon.   

       Then you can go shopping and buy all the nice things for yourself with the colourful labels that we’ve been programmed to want – without the meddling little people getting in the way.   

       Though the bland packaging idea would be handy for the times you go shopping while hungry, so avoiding buying lots of junk.   

PGL, Jul 06 2008

       An auto-TASER belt with heart rate monitor would work quite efficiently.   

       If the child-unit became too excited as evidenced by pulse (strong emotions/fast movement), the TASER would fire a 10 second blast.   

       The cool thing is that the child-unit would appear to be having a tantrum.   

       The only downside is the serial-killer resulting from such torment, but at least one could relax and enjoy shopping.
TIB, Jul 06 2008

       Your idea brought to mind this advert (linky). You get a bun from me, though the more reliant on child pressure sales the product is, the less inclined the product manufacturers would be to go along with this idea.
imaginality, Jul 06 2008

       + great idea
xandram, Jul 07 2008

       Good luck getting the manufacturers to go along with it. The kids will probably find a reason to tantrum anyway.   

       But, [+] to you, because I would like to shop this store. The idea is very reminiscent of the old GENERIC aisles that you could find in supermarkets here in the U.S. No bright colors, no loud slogans, nothing to have to read around, just the name and the product details.
Noexit, Jul 07 2008

       Dharma Initiative packaging for all. See link.
Giblet, Jul 07 2008

       I rarely go to supermarkets and my offspring are now older, but when it was a problem i used to go on and on at them about the likes of diabetes and heart disease which would afflict them if they partook of the dodgy comestibles, or about the ethical record of the company responsible, and it worked very well. E.g., "no you can't have that because the company kills babies," or whatever.   

       I now have completely neurotic children though, so it may not have been a good move.
nineteenthly, Jul 07 2008

       I used to get a clip under the ear if I threw a tantrum = no tantrums.
Custardguts, Jul 07 2008

       //I used to get a clip under the ear //
Whereas today, you'd get a full magazine in the chest.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 07 2008

       // a full magazine in the chest.//   

       Yes ... we live in a terribly wasteful society. One round to the back of the head used to be enough, but no, now it has to be the whole clip ...... greedy, we call it. Kids, eh ? If they'd had to live through the War, when ammunition was rationed, they'd know to make every shot count and not waste any..... we couldn't just "go and get another box" from the QM, we had to go out and collect all the ones that had missed and use them again ...... it was a right miserable job if your were in the artillery, trying to drag back a wheelbarrow full of dirty, muddy, unexploded shells .......and you didn't even get money back on the empties..... all this violence ..... put 'em in the Army, that'd teach 'em to be violent .... er ..... ah. MAybe that one needas a tad more thought.
8th of 7, Jul 07 2008

       [+] Bun for the fact that I can't stand having to endure crying and screaming tantrums from someone's bratty child while on the checkout line. This is somewhat baked but not as well as it is described here. There is a supermarket chain called "No Frills" that sells generic looking products. Overall I think that the manufacturers are counting on that the child has a tantrum so that the parent will be forced to buy it.
Jscotty, Jul 08 2008

       No, what you do is say: if you eat this, and make a habit of eating it, it will kill you, then go into enormous graphic detail about the diseases that would result. If that fails, you use guilt. Ask them how they would feel if they were in the position of the people who can only make a living producing the stuff. End of problem. Also, engender a healthy suspicion about attractive packaging.
nineteenthly, Jul 08 2008

       Imagine the chaos that could be started just by secretly planting one item into this supermarket - wrapped in red, silver, shiny packaging with stars and glitter and says *** VIDEO GAMES *** CANDY! ** TOYS*** on the package.   

       That area could be known as the tantrum zone.
phundug, Jul 08 2008

       The supermarket could just have covers that slip over the colorful packaging.
Earth 2nd generation, Jul 11 2008

       What about a creche to keep the little miscreants occupied?
Bad Jim, Jul 12 2008

       What about a crusher to keep the little miscreants occupied ?
8th of 7, Jul 12 2008

       This reminds me of the bizarre and brief late-1970s "Generic" brand fad: plain white (or yellow) boxes and cans that appeared to be stenciled "COLA" or "CEREAL"... Imagine a whole supermarket like that. It would be like a time warp. Put on your boogie shoes!
land, Jul 13 2008

       When I lived in Northern VA we had a BASICS grocery store a few blocks away. Inside the motif was simple: black lettering, white label. BEER. GREEN BEANS. TOILET PAPER. It was all quite ghastly and the products could frankly have used all the psychological bolstering they could get; they were unwaveringly bad.   

       I looked hard for an image but evidently the public is desperate to forget.
elhigh, Jul 17 2008


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