Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
actual product may differ from illustration

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Tectonic Migration

  (+6, -2)
(+6, -2)
  [vote for,

Plate tectonics at the moment is basically a train trip. The lava wells up here, plates subduct there, and we're all along for the ride.

With ever-increasing lifespans and the threat of climate change, it is surely time for the more foreward-thinking nations to take control of matters.

Work needs to begin now, if not before, on developing the necessary technology to lubricate fault lines and encourage the right sort of mantle convection. In short, we need to get a grip on where we're all going.

The continent that masters this technology first will surely have a tremendous advantage, being able to steal a march on the others and pick a prime spot in whatever parts of the globe are destined to be favourable in the climate of the future.

Continental nations such as Australia will, naturally, find it easier to reach a consensus and start heading for their ideal destination. Multinational continents, such as North America, would be well advised to begin discussions now. England, of course, will continue to be inseperably blighted by France wherever we go but, on the plus side, we might be able to subduct Wales.

MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 15 2012

Floating_20UK [not_morrison_rm, Apr 17 2012]

Society for the Prevention of Plate Tectonics http://www.wimble.o...preventionhome.html
The Enemy. (But they look like us...) [lurch, Apr 17 2012]


       Fantastic idea - although I'm worried that "lubricate fault lines" might be a euphemism for something.
hippo, Apr 15 2012

       Sure, and everybody is going to wind up huddled together on the other side of the globe, as far away as they can get from wherever Australia is going.
baconbrain, Apr 15 2012

       The thing of it is, the whole cause/effect relationship is going to be a bit strung out. Therefore, by the time you realize you're going to wind up living next to [Ubie], it may be too late to make any change.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 15 2012

       It will give the phrase "we will bury you" new life.
ldischler, Apr 15 2012

       Each plate should be clearly labeled with a number, except the Arabian, which would be be removed, and set aside in some convenient place (the Moon, for example). The goal is then to arrange the numbers in either left-right top-bottom order (a win for the English-speaking team) or top-bottom left- right (a win for the Mandarin-speakers). Use of thermonuclear devices is considered unsporting.
mouseposture, Apr 15 2012

       I think we might need a rudder the size of...   

       How does an ammonite climb a mountain?
It sits on some shale and waits for uplift.
Loris, Apr 15 2012

       //Use of thermonuclear devices is considered unsporting.// except along the San Andreas where it can be considered "weight reduction".
FlyingToaster, Apr 15 2012

       //Use of thermonuclear devices is considered unsporting.//   

       You're no fun any more ...   

       // by the time you realize you're going to wind up living next to [Ubie], it may be too late to make any change. //   

       Except perhaps assisted suicide ...   

       // on the plus side, we might be able to subduct Wales. //   

       We're in. Where should we mail the cheque ?
8th of 7, Apr 15 2012

       ////Use of thermonuclear devices is considered unsporting.//
You're no fun any more ...//

       Oh, for Crom's sake pay attention. Did I say \\abuse of thermonuclear devices\\ ? No, I don't think I said that.
mouseposture, Apr 15 2012

       Australia set something of a continental drift speed record when it broke from Antarctica, moving at about 120mm/year. It has slowed to around 70mm/year at the moment, which is still a lot faster than Indonesia would like us to be going, as it keeps causing these really nasty volcanoes and earthquakes.   

       Interesting that the Wallace Line clearly demarcates the "Old World" of squirrels and conifers and deciduous species from the (actually older) monotremes, marsupials and Myrtaceae plants, despite the line being a subduction zone for tens of millions of years.   

       I'd also be wary of lubricating fault lines too vigorously. Krakatau and Tambora are both examples of catastrophic volcanic explosions where the force of the blast was exacerbated by the presence of water in the subduction zone, flashing to steam when it came into contact with very hot magma as the magma chamber ruptured.   

       Finally, [Max], I admire your zeal in looking ahead so far. However, you're going to be a long- forgotten brain in a long-forgotten jar of nutrient broth by the time any continental drift has really changed your geographical location. Might I suggest air travel? Quicker, cheaper and safer.
UnaBubba, Apr 15 2012

       It might have its downsides. For example GPS. When the plane I was on landed in Tokyo (actually it's in Chiba prefecture, but let's not quibble) at the end of May it actually did land on the runway.   

       Seeing as the entire plate has moved (so I'm told 15 metres) it should have missed the runway. So a bit of forward planning on the GPS front might not go amiss unless of course you don't mind driving through rivers or whatever.
not_morrison_rm, Apr 16 2012

       //you're going to wind up living next to [Ubie]//   

       I don't want to appear smug, but with a bit of foresight one simply perches oneself on the other side of the same tectonic plate as [Ubie] lives on, then he can lubricate the fault lines all he wants - but he will never get any closer.   

       At first read I thought this was about migration amongst the Germanic peoples of the world. (That always lead to trouble).
AusCan531, Apr 16 2012

       The opposite side of the tectonic plate on which I live, is in Somalia. Good luck with that, sucker!
UnaBubba, Apr 16 2012

       //Germanic peoples of the world.//   

       Is that including or excluding the Anglo-Saxons?
not_morrison_rm, Apr 16 2012

       //some element of bumper cars to this//   

       That, my friend, is precisely we have installed Wales, Scotland, Ireland and the Isle of Wight as crumple-zones.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 16 2012

       That was very funny, MB.
blissmiss, Apr 16 2012

       I notice that your buffers are installed predominately to the west, with a bit up top as well. Planning to re-take the colonies, are we?
Alterother, Apr 16 2012

       They didn't realize the Titanic's route would be ice-free by the time they make their crossing.   

       Or maybe it's prep for the next climatological downturn... (so, Her Majesty's Swamp UK strikes a berg, or a seamount, and she's going down by the West Countries, the Thames flowing backward and the cliffs of Dover are five thousand fathoms up - that's when they'll realize they didn't design in enough pubs)
lurch, Apr 16 2012

       I rather like the idea. It could be enhanced by cutting the world's landmasses into individual countries, so they each form their own "tectonic plate".   

       That way countries could form economic alliances by moving closer to each other, as required, or farther away as relations cooled.   

       It would also allow little, tiny countries, like Monaco and San Marino and Leichtenstein, to footle about under the power of a couple of outboard motors, kept afloat with a stack of waterproof beanbags.
UnaBubba, Apr 16 2012

       Greece is already doing that with their economy, so why not the whole country?
Alterother, Apr 17 2012

       [+] and I can rather easily picture the ad campaign to get people to show their landmass allegiance, "Department of Continental Direction", thinktanks, up-to-the-minute reporting, etc.
FlyingToaster, Apr 17 2012

       //That way countries could form economic alliances by moving closer to each other, as required, or farther away as relations cooled.//   

       //some obscure way to exploit free-trade areas by passing through them sequentially. //Floating UK idea..   

       Obviously this would lead to an increase in bank robberies, the robber would simply rob the bank on the other side of the fault line and wait...would suit criminals with a great deal of patience.
not_morrison_rm, Apr 17 2012

       // criminals with a great deal of patience.//   

       They're called politicians.
UnaBubba, Apr 17 2012

       Or doctors.
AusCan531, Apr 17 2012

       Herald a ship, man.
UnaBubba, Apr 17 2012

       Both of my parents are doctors.
Alterother, Apr 17 2012

       But still they couldn't fix you. :)
baconbrain, Apr 17 2012

       "Ask your doctor if tectonic migration is right for you."   

       "Welcome to the Sudan-North Korea-Texas-France continent. We shall be victorious!"
RayfordSteele, Apr 17 2012

       I really think this is about the UK becoming a belligerent state on the global scale. [Max] has cleverly proposed this as something anyone can do, but he's already set things up for his invasion; the UK eases out into the North Atlantic, picking up Iceland on the way to vanguard the southern tip of Ireland. Using Scotland as a giant wear-plate, they scrape down the coast of Greenland, all the while compacting into one big battering-ram landmass with Wales as the weldment, crashing excrutiatingly slowly into Massachusetts to exact tectonic retribution on the Former Colonies (aka 'the ones that got away'). What he's not counting on is having my well-indoctrinated descendants waiting up here in the mountains, ready to come screaming down with broadswords and assault rifles to slip in behind his battle line and wreak the havoc that we so skillfully wreak. Vikings in your flanks--never a pleasant ordeal.
Alterother, Apr 17 2012

       I think I already did that with my katamari.
Loris, Apr 17 2012

       images of fresh conscripts being issued regulation-sized paddles, house of parliament debates of direction, environmental impact statements of churned water along shorelines, dolphins laughing themselves silly.
FlyingToaster, Apr 17 2012

       Where'd my previous anno migrate to?   

       Is one of the UnaBubba one's yours?
blissmiss, Apr 17 2012

       bug tank ?
FlyingToaster, Apr 17 2012

       No such luck [bliss], but maybe I could borrow one of them.   

       Android browsing is a little challenging, particularly whilst driving.
UnaBubba, Apr 17 2012

       I read that as "while drinking". Hmmm...
blissmiss, Apr 18 2012

       //while drinking//   

       I read that as "white drinking"... hmmm.
UnaBubba, Apr 18 2012


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle